


No Subs

by Jade_Max



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Order 66
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:39:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Max/pseuds/Jade_Max
Summary: Ahsoka turns to Fives in the aftermath of watching Rex give his life for her and asks for something he can’t give, but can’t refuse, and inadvertently starts them on a journey neither expects…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to Disney and is the intellectual property of George Lucas; he created the sandbox. I’m making no money off of this and am simply destroying the sandcastles.
> 
> Author’s Note: My “Captain & Commander” TCW canon compliant vignette series is included in the canon that this fic follows; not necessary to read it to understand what's happening here.
> 
> Second Note: I totally blame emjalen for this fic. If she hadn’t asked the questions - ‘What happened?’ And ‘What comes next?’ this would have been a very short, very singular MA one shot and left at that. When that woman unleashes the bunnies, run!

** No Substitutions **

 

_ Part 1 _

_“Take care of my_ cyar'ika _, v_ od _.”_

 The words echoed in his head, drowning out the turbolaser fire exploding around it, as Fives sent the shuttle rocketing into hyperspace.

 His course was set to a distant system where he knew there were people who opposed the wars. People who would welcome him with open arms and give him a chance to think and reflect. To decide exactly what to do with the Jedi Padawan, now a galactic criminal and outcast, who’d been placed in his care by his former Captain.

 “Fives?”

 He steeled himself against that call, pushing back from the controls and turning to find the Togruta female who’d been his Commander, and then his friend, for as long as he could remember. The young woman who had given everything she was to a war and the men who’d proclaimed her sister and comrade. To the men who’d just turned their back on her.

 The men who had just _killed_ Captain Rex.

 His gaze found hers.

Wide eyed and shell shocked, she was otherwise uninjured thanks to the ultimate sacrifice of a man who had loved her so completely, but denied it to the end, who’d never given a second thought to taking the deadly bolt intended for her.

Fives had seen it in Rex’s eyes, heard it in his voice… and watched as the young woman who was Rex’s perfect pair see that bolt meant for her hit Rex. Her whole body had jerked as if she’d been struck as intended.

Looking at her now, it threw him back to the moment. A moment Fives had never expected. One he’d _dreaded_ to see.

It was smelling the burnt ozone that always accompanied blaster fire and hearing Ahsoka desperately call Rex’s name above the clamor as the Captain had struck her. Sending her tumbling forward as he stumbled, going down behind them.

It was seeing Rex on the other side of the blast door that would have seen them in the clear. Watching it come down, as if in slow motion, knowing he wouldn't have been able to reach his brother. Knowing that they were about to be cut off and there was nothing he could do.

It was the tortured shriek of metal, the sound echoed by Ahsoka's instant denial, as the door came grinding to an unexpected halt with less than a foot between the upper and lower doors. A gap that was too small for Rex to climb through - or Ahsoka to climb back.

It was watching as Ahsoka worked to pry the barricade open with the Force, the gap giving them a clear view to the other side. Rex regaining his feet, beat, but not beaten, as the Troopers closed in behind him.

Ahsoka reaching through the gap, straining for Rex with outstretched fingers and Rex intertwining his hand with hers, watching Ahsoka watching him. Fives feeling like an outsider as Rex gently, passionately - _poignantly_ \- kissed the backs of her fingers in farewell.

 It was Rex looking _his_ way with a short, hard nod and giving his last instructions. Asking his last favor. _“Take care of my_ cyar'ika _, v_ od _.”_

Barely audible, muffled by her hand, it was the speaking glance his former Captain gave the Jedi Padawan, leaving Fives with no doubts. Everything Rex felt for Ahsoka was in that look. Every regret, every intention, in the silent acknowledgement of an unexpected end.

The moment freezing, an understanding from one brother to the other of what was necessary; of what would occur.

It was Rex drawing both blasters, turning to call the men he’d once served with traitors and placing his back to the door. Deliberately, _bodily,_ blocking any clear line of fire to Ahsoka. It was the hole in the back of his armor with blood and flesh visible beneath, a killing blow that should have knocked him down, and kept him there. It was Rex doing the impossible. Standing on sheer will alone as he did everything he could to buy them more time.

All for the love, the _life_ , of the Togruta Jedi so desperate to reach him.

Fives shook off the image, knowing what had happened next. He hadn’t waited to see more.

The blast door wouldn’t have held forever and Ahsoka wouldn't've reached Rex in time. He’d taken her sabers and struck her over the head in one move. Dazing her, but not knocking her out, he’d thrown her over one shoulder and run as blaster fire had erupted around them.

He’d felt her tense, scream, her anguished “ _REX!”_ nearly drowned out by Rex’s final, fierce cry, before she’d gone limp - and he'd known Rex had fallen. He'd loaded her on his shuttle and done as Rex had asked. He'd gotten her free, escaped with her. He’d taken care of her.

It left them here and now.

With Ahsoka Tano standing in the doorway to the cockpit exhibiting an uncertainty he’d never seen, looking at him with a kind of confusion he didn’t recognize. “Fives… Where’s Rex? I can’t find him anywhere.”

He inhaled sharply. There was desperation in her tone. A kind of pleading he well remembered feeling when Echo had died. He hadn’t wanted to consider the possibility, let alone accept it despite having watched it with his own eyes, but the reality had been as horrible as everything he’d seen.

And she would have to accept as he had.

“He’s gone, Ahsoka.” Telling her anything but the truth would get them nowhere. “He sacrificed himself so that we - so that _you_ could get away.”

“Gone…” She wrapped her arms about her middle, as if to ward off his words. “No… no. That can’t… he’s…”

 Stricken eyes bore into his and Fives set the auto pilot before pushing up from the pilot’s chair, crossing the room. He wrapped his arms about her shoulders and hugged her close. “Shh. I know,” he murmured, feeling his own eyes sting with tears. She was trembling, shaking and, after a moment, clinging to him like she’d never let him go.

 “Tell me,” her voice broke, “tell me it’s all a bad dream, Fives.”

 He wished he could and his whispered reply was almost lost to the thrumming of the ship’s engines. “I can’t.”

 “Tell me he’s not really gone!”

 “I _can’t_ , Ahsoka.”

 “Tell me…”

 “I can’t tell you what you want to hear,” he hated reiterating it, but the sooner she accepted the inevitable, the better. It killed him to see her like this. Broken was something she'd never been in his eyes. “Rex is gone. He’s dead. He died saving you.”

 She tensed in his arms, drawing away, looking up at him with blood shot eyes and an anguished expression he could only describe as soul wrenching heartbreak.

 And then she was gone - and he let her go.

 

* * *

 “Fives.”

 “Ahsoka.”

 “Can I… talk to you for a minute?”

 Fives turned from the console he was studying.

 She’d been locked in her room for the last fifteen hours, no doubt meditating, and it had given him a chance to say his personal goodbyes to the man who’d given his life for her. The man who should have been there in his place, Fives’ life sacrificed instead of Rex’s, to give his brother and Ahsoka the chance they’d deserved but never taken.

 Guilt continued to eat at him and Fives found he wished he could go back and change things. He didn’t want to die, but he also knew Rex hadn’t either, for all he’d done so willingly. Rex had wanted to live, to escape, to be in Fives’ place some day. Alone, without rules and regulations, and able to freely express what had always been between he and Ahsoka. 

 Order sixty six had changed everything.

 Seeing Ahsoka out of her room was a bit of a shock. Fives took a moment to look at her, seeing the dark shadows under her eyes, the puffiness to her face. ”It’s just the two of us. What can I do for you?”

 She flinched with his choice of words, her eyes turning glassy, but there was a determination within them he was well familiar with. “Rex.”

 “Ahsoka-”

 She held up her hand, cutting him off. “I know.” She took a deep breath. “I… loved Rex, Fives,” her words were strangled, visibly difficult to get out.

 Fives wondered if she’d ever said those words to herself, let alone anyone else, aloud before. If she hadn’t, they were fifteen hours too late.

 “I… I never told him. I never told anyone,” tears glistened in her eyes as she confirmed his unspoken suspicions. “He didn’t… he didn’t _know_ and now he’s… he’s gone.”

 Unable to watch her struggle, knowing she missed his brother as much, probably more, than he did, Fives gained his feet and took a step towards her. His instincts told him to hold her and comfort her the only way he had. To offer himself as a shoulder for her to lean on, but he hesitated for a moment, uncertain if she wanted his comfort.

 Ahsoka met him, to his surprise, in the middle of the floor, her arms sliding around his waist in a vice like grip as she buried her face against his chest with a choked sound.

 He held her, his arms about her shoulders, sliding one hand under her _lek_ to splay against her back. Needing the contact as much as she obviously did, he took as much comfort from her embrace as he attempted to impart. “Ahsoka. Rex knew what he was doing. He knew what you felt for him.”

 “How could he when I never… I didn’t…”

 “He knew,” Fives was certain of that. He’d seen it in Rex’s eye. “He cared… he _loved_ you too.”

 “Don’t… don’t tell me the things I want to hear, Fives.” She made to withdraw, looking at him with pained, haunted eyes. “Don’t-”

 Fives didn’t let her go, tilting his head to look at her. “I wouldn’t,” he swore softly, intently, willing her to hear the sincerity in his voice. “You were his love, Ahsoka. Unconditionally.”

 “He never… he didn’t…”

 “He regretted it at the end.”

 “He could have said-” her voice broke.

 “He asked me to take care of you,” Fives’ own voice was husky.

 She shook her head. “He didn’t.”

 “He did.”

 “He… he said, _Take care of my_ cyar'ika _, vod._ ” She quoted Rex perfectly, inflection and everything, and if Fives had doubted her feelings for his brother before, he wouldn’t have now. “He had words for you but not… but didn’t... he didn’t say anything about _me_.”

 “ _Cyar’ika_ is Mando’a, Ahsoka,” he offered her a sad, pained smile. “It means sweetheart. Rex was looking at _you_ as he said it.”

 “Cy…” tears slid free from her eyes as she choked.

 “ _Cyar’ika_ .”

 She shook her head and stepped close again, her grip almost bruising with its intensity. “I never got to hold him,” she whispered brokenly, her words muffled and nearly lost to his shirt. “I never got to… to tell him…”

 “I’m sorry.”

 It was wholly inadequate for what she was feeling but Fives had nothing better.

 She laughed, a sad little sound that wormed its way under his skin and made him wish he could banish all of her sorrows. It made him wish he was the man she wanted him to be. That he _was_ Rex, if only for a moment, to give her what she needed.

 “I never got to show him, Fives,” her voice cracked, ragged and defeated as she lifted her head to look at him. “I never will. I’ll never…” she shook her head again.

 “He knew, Ahsoka.”

 “You don’t understand.”

 “Then tell me,” lifting one hand he brushed the tears from her cheek with his thumb. Rex’s instructions aside, he’d do anything within his power to help her. Anything to diminish the shattered look in her eyes. “Explain it.”

 “He’s the only one… and I’ll never get to… to _love_ him,” her voice dropped, her gaze running over his face, one hand reaching up hesitantly, pausing and then shifting, gently touching his cheek.

 Fives caught it. “Ahsoka?”

 She didn’t answer right away, staring at him as if she’d never seen him before, and Fives’ gut clenched. He’d been through situations too terrible to count, to revisit, with poise and confidence, but with the young woman before him he was at a loss. He couldn’t follow her thought process.

 “You’re the closest thing I have to him, Fives. A part of him.”

 Was she… did she mean…?

 “You smell like him. _Feel_ like him.”

 “I’m not Rex.”

 “I know that,” she choked on the admission, blinking away fresh tears. “I need… I just need to feel closer to him, Fives. I need… I _need_ that connection.”

 His heart leapt in his chest and then sank like a stone. “You’re not asking me this.”

 “I need you.”

 “You’re Rex’s girl, Ahsoka. We lost him yesterday. It would be wrong-”

 “Make love to me,” she insisted, her fingers curling about his, pressing closer. “Just once. Let me pretend… let me…”

 She’d asked the impossible of him and Fives found himself again at a loss for the second time in as many minutes. How could he tell her yes? She was his best brother’s girl. The woman Rex had loved totally and beyond measure. She had always _been_ Rex’s girl in his mind, since the very first.

 Yet…

 He wouldn’t have been human if he hadn’t entertained the thought at least once. Every man in their company had. For a lot of them, she’d been their first experience with a woman and all of them, every last one, had been envious of her connection to the Captain. They’d all loved her to some degree and would have given their lives for her.

 How, when presented with a way to ease her suffering, could he tell her no?

 “Please, Fives.”

 “Ahsoka. I can’t-”

 “Take care of me, Fives,” her luminescent eyes held a plea he was powerless to resist, echoing the words of his brother and undermining his determination. “Love me. Just once. Give me a memory. Something I can…”

 “I am _not_ Rex.”

 The words fell into the silence between them, hard and heavy; she should have known better than to ask this of him. She, out of everyone he knew who was not a clone, knew just _how_ different they all were.

 “I _know_ that,” she leaned forward, pressing herself against him again. Tears trailed down her cheeks once more as she pressed her captured hand to his cheek. “I know… I know I shouldn’t… I… just... I _need_ this, Fives. For one night, let me pretend otherwise.”

 She didn’t know what she was asking.

 “Ahso-”

 “Please.”

 It was the broken way she said it that tipped the scale. His duty was to care for her and if she needed him, if she asked this of him, he couldn’t tell her no. Rex would understand, would _want_ him to help her… even, Fives suspected, in this.

 Fives made his choice.

 For one night he would be what she needed, let her pretend that he was Rex and _g_ ive her the memory that would help her heal. “Just one night?”

 Ahsoka nodded.

 Fives dipped his head, meeting her gaze as he stopped, the tip of his nose just shy of touching hers. “You’re sure?”

 “Take care of me, Fives,” beseeching eyes pleaded with him for refuge. “Help me forget, just for a few hours, that he’s… he’s gone.”

 And he did just that.

 


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MA Chapter

_ Part 2 _

 Sweat slick skin beneath his hands and luminescent azure eyes swimming with tears meeting his as his body was poised to slide into hers, were the last thing he’d ever expected to see.

 This time, this place, he never, if he lived forever, would have thought it possible. 

 Sienna skin was firm and supple under his hands as he caressed her body, making her cry out despite herself. The broken, shattered look in her eyes tearing at his heart, the words of a brother he’d never thought to lose echoing in his mind.   _“Take care of my_  cyar'ika _,_  vod  _.”_

 “Close your eyes, Ashoka.”

 She shook her head, her hands on his forearms, gripping him tightly.

 He lowered his head, touching his forehead to hers. His throat closed, knowing what she would see, but urging her to anyway. “Close your eyes. Picture him,” his words were gentle but rough, part of him as broken as she, “see him as he was, alive and well. Close your eyes,” he swallowed hard, sliding his hips back, holding himself away as he spoke, “ _feel_  his hands,  _these_  hands on your body. His arms holding you. His lips,” he brushed them over the curve of her cheekbone as her eyes fluttered closed, “caressing you.”

 Her breath hitched, a tear slipping free from the corner of her eye, and his lips caught it. Gently pressing against the side of her face, he traced it back to the source. Trailing soft caresses across one eyelid and then the other, he tasted salt on his tongue. Taking his time, he kissed his way across the curve of her brow and, after a heartbeat of hesitation, along the seam where her montrals joined her lekku.

 Ahsoka’s fingers dug in, her nails biting into the soft flesh at his elbows and he brushed his lips across the vein again, baring his teeth and gently dragging them down along the supple appendage, making her gasp. He did it again, her legs sliding along his as he pressed his throbbing erection into the soft skin of her belly, sliding it in a torturously slow glide, keeping his chest just above hers.

 Her back arched a little as he closed his lips about the tip of her lekku, sucking in into his mouth, brushing the firm points of her nipples against his chest. The gasp that left her lips was the name he both hoped and dreaded to hear. A name that twisted in his heart like a vibroblade.

  _“Rex…_ please…”

 It almost stopped him, a need to hear his own name on her lips, only the words of his brother in the back of his mind preventing his withdraw.  _“Take care of my_  cyar'ika  _,_  vod _.”_

 He would.

 In this, in anything she asked, Ahsoka would never  _want_  for anything.

 Releasing the tip of her lekku, he lifted his lips to hers, claiming them in the softest of kisses he’d never before bestowed upon another. Opening his heart in a way he’d never done with any partner, he sought to be what she needed, knowing the act itself was not enough.

 Rex had loved Ahsoka, truly and completely. To give her what he sought, he needed to give her that. So he reached within himself, to the well of emotions locked away. To his first encounters with her, before he’d consciously known she was beyond his reach because of Rex.

 Those emotions had been corralled, cornered and suppressed ruthlessly, only to be released now as he put every ounce of his pent up feelings for her into the kiss. She deserved to be loved, if only once, the way the man who’d loved her even more than he, would have. She deserved the chance to know what time and circumstance had stolen, leaving her there with him… but not  _with_  him.

 She deserved to be worshiped - so he worshiped her.

 Swallowing her moan with his mouth, he used one hand to tease her body, caressing her breasts and lekku, drawing out her responses with his touch. Using every iota of his experience to push her further into the fantasy he knew she built behind her closed eyelids. He kissed her deeply, lovingly, putting every ounce of respect and emotion he felt into that kiss - and preventing her from speaking.

 His hands worked magic. Playing about her body, he left no patch of skin untended as his hand slid down to caress her most intimate of flesh to find her hot and wet and eager.

 Only when she was writhing beneath him, her knees lifted, her hips rising in a silent plea and pressing the aching shaft of his organ into her stomach with every undulation, did he move again. Sliding lower and never breaking the kiss, he withdrew his hand and set the head of his erection to her entrance once more.

 Pressing his body into hers, the engorged tip sliding into the slick entrance for a half second, he tore his mouth from hers on a moan. Overwhelmed by the sensation, the emotional impact of the act, he could go no further, his head spinning, his connection to the young woman deeper and more profound than any other he’d ever been with -

 - and it was a lie.

 Ahsoka’s hips thrust upwards and took him within her body with a sure, swift movement. Buried within the tight, throbbing recesses, he ducked his forehead to hers with a gasp that was a breathless cry of her name, a plea for a moment of recover.

 She either didn’t hear it, or didn’t heed it, her inner muscles clenching impossibly tighter as her body pulled away.

 His control frayed, his hips jerked forward, not allowing her retreat, as he pressed her back into the mattress. Rising above her, he raked his hands down across her body, her ocher skin flushed and impossibly slick, her hands never having left his arms.

 Ahsoka’s eyes were still closed as her head fell back, her spine arching, presenting her neck to him in a gesture of submission and surrender, of  _acceptance_  that wasn’t meant for  _him_.

 Closing his eyes, he gripped her hips, struggling with the urge to latch his lips to the exposed vein as he withdrew from her body, adjusting his angle of penetration before he slid within her again. She bowed off the bed with an unintelligible keen and he pressed her back down, following her, his hips never stopping as he shifted one hand between them, playing with the sensitive skin around her entrance.

 She writhed as his hand continued to explore, his lips on her lekku as their bodies merged and separated in an even and intense rhythm, but was no closer to the completion he ached to give her and  _yearned_  to help her reach. Her inner muscles contracted with each thrust, gripping him, catching him, preventing an easy withdraw, but as he sought to give her what she obviously needed, he was at a loss.

 Ahsoka bucked beneath him, presenting her neck once more with a gasp and a sob, her head thrashing to the side. “Bite me, Rex _…_ please… please -  _bite_  me!”

 His eyes flew open, his own fantasy shattering with her desperate plea. The words of his brother echoed within his head once more.  _“Take care of my_  cyar'ika _,_  vod  _.”_

 So he bit her.

 His hands went numb as her fingers dug in at his elbows with enough force to draw blood. Her body bucking up with a violent motion, capturing his tumescent length in a vice like grip, it prevented his retreat as her inner muscles closed about him tightly enough he saw stars behind his eyes.

 The violence of her climax was lost to the intensity of his own.

 He slumped forward, his forehead on her heaving chest, as her body’s inner muscles continued to tighten and spasm around him, leaving him limp and gasping for breath with each contraction of her still rapidly beating heart.

 He stayed that way until he felt the muscles of her body loosen and only then could, and did, he roll away, too weak to move further. Too weak to leave her bed as his bruised heart demanded.

 He’d denied and suppressed his feelings fervently for the sake of his brother. He’d stepped aside, knowing he could never have her, knowing it wasn’t  _him_  she saw or wanted… and had now made love to the very same young Togrutan woman who’d snared his heart so long ago.

 But she had been making love to another.

 No matter that he’d encouraged it, in the aftermath, his selfish soul wished it had been  _his_  name on her lips, not his brother’s.

 The feel of her cool hands on his back, the press of her body against his, made him tense, but he was too exhausted to fight her. Part of him wanted this,  _needed_  this closeness. She curled close, her lips pressing to the base of his neck, her arm tight around his middle. They stayed that way, his eyes staring straight ahead, until a shiver raced through her frame, the drying sweat making the room cooler.

 Her voice was soft, barely a breath against his back, but her voice broke on the words which caught and held him. “Thank you, Fives.”

 Fives closed his hand over the splay of her fingers on his chest and squeezed but could find no words to respond.

  _“Take care of my_  cyar'ika  _,_  vod _.”_

 He had.

 

* * *

**_The next morning_ **

 Fives stood under the spray of the shower with his eyes closed, his head hanging under the jetting water. It mingled with his hair and goatee, catching for a moment before sliding down his face, over his throat and down his arms. The droplets stung in the wounds at his elbows caused by Ahsoka’s nails.  

 That sting was expected. The one that had hit him in the aftermath hadn’t been.

 He’d done as she’d asked and given her everything she’d asked for. He’d made her believe he was Rex. Made her believe, if only for a few moments of rapture, that it was Rex, and not Fives who’d brought her to completion. Rex, and not Fives, who’d made her cry out, made her beg. Rex, and not Fives, who held her. Loved her.

 He’d done it - and he’d never felt worse.

 Somewhere in the middle of their tryst, he’d lost himself. He’d taken one look into Ahsoka’s shattered gaze, watched as she was slowly hating herself for needing him, unable to separate what they were doing as to with whom, and he’d acted before he’d thought. He urged her to close her eyes and picture Rex, knowing she’d be able to and hating himself for it. Better though, that he hate himself for both of them, than she hate herself.

 Then, as if that wasn’t enough, he’d curbed his own, dominant urges, refusing to take her swiftly as he had with so many other willing women. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t do it knowing she was picturing the man she’d loved and lost without experiencing his touch. So he’d given her what he believed his brother would have.

 He’d  _made_   _love_  to her.

 He’d reached deep within himself, touched a part of himself that he’d thought to have killed a long time ago. He’d reached to the very first time he’d seen and interacted with her. To when he’d first met and fallen for her the same as every other man in Torrent Company. He’d reached to those first memories, reached and embraced them, and found something he’d never expected.

 With the release of those memories, came the realization that he’d loved her from those first moments - and never stopped. It had only grown as he’d watched her selflessness and loyalty - as he’d heard of her exploits and that the purity of her spirit that had so drawn him initially. She was everything the perfect mate should be. Sexy and smart, able to hold her own both on the battlefield and off - but she’d belonged to Rex.

 So he’d buried his love for her, locked it away deep within his heart. He’d become hard and unfeeling with everyone but Echo. A machine of war and death, he’d watched as she and Rex had orbited around one another without actually touching, silently urging Rex to make the move he never could. From the sidelines, because he knew she’d wanted his brother and not him, he’d been content to see her, to see  _them_ , happy.

 Except Rex was now dead and every good intention he’d ever had with regard to Ahsoka was null and void.

 Ahsoka had  _used_  him the night before to build a false memory for comfort and he’d been a willing participant. A participant who wished he’d never agreed to it for the experience had torn open a part of him he wasn’t sure he could bury again.

 The water cooled, drawing him from his thoughts. Fives shut it off, toweling dry with economical, unthinking movements, only drawn to the activity when he brushed against the wounds in the sensitive flesh on the inside of his elbow. Looking down, he stared at the perfect crescent moons within the bruises and flexed his fingers unthinkingly. Dropping the towel, he traced the small lines with one finger tip.

 Closing his eyes against the memories of  _how_  those had happened, he fought them back, pushed them away, and determinedly collected his towel. Wrapping it about his hips, he exited the ‘fresher.

 Ahsoka was standing in the hallway, mid-step, her face pale, her gaze obviously having been drawn to the opening of the ‘fresher door opening.

 Fives stopped, feeling the heat of her gaze for a moment as it dropped to his naked chest before she looked away and a lump formed in his throat. She looked uncertain. Ashamed. Guilty, almost, as if she was regretting what had occurred the night before.

 His relationship with Ahsoka had always been friendly and he wanted nothing, not even recent developments, to change that. She needed him and he’d been charged with taking care of her. She needed to know he would make no demands upon her, expect nothing beyond that one night no matter how much he might wish it otherwise.

 He wasn’t sure he could have anyway. Having her call Rex’s name in the throes of passion had nearly killed him. Only his loyalty to his brother and his promise to her had stayed his course.

 But the conversation they needed to have in the morning’s light was better done when he wasn’t still dripping from his shower and covered in nothing but a towel.

 Stepping to the side, he offered her a nod he wasn’t sure she saw and entered the room he’d claimed as his.

 He didn’t have much beyond the body suit that went under his armor - which had already been jettisoned - so he raided the closet and drawers around the room. There wasn’t much. A pair of loose pants that were several sizes too large about the waist but could be held on with his utility belt - if he was so inclined - were paired with a shirt that would fit like a balloon in one locker and he closed it quickly. Another held pants that were roughly his size and a shirt two sizes too small. He took the pants and left the shirt, finding one that fit in the next locker.

 Dressing quickly, ironically in all black and glad for it, he left the room after strapping his boots back on and went looking for Ahsoka.

 He found her where he expected to. In the cockpit. Feeling that strange tightening in his chest again as his gaze took her in, her attention on the consoles that marked their progress, expertly assessing his work. She’d always been a better pilot and even as he watched, she made a minor course correction.

 Shifting his stance in the doorway, he drew her gaze, the guarded look less than heartening. Clearing his throat, he strived for normal. “Good morning. Sleep well?”

 She nodded to him, the tension between them thick and heavy; awkward.

 Fives sighed. “Ahsoka…”

 She flinched, glancing away and his lips thinned.

 Striding forward, he slid into the copilot’s chair and turned to face her, catching the edge of her seat so she’d have to do the same, gripping it with both hands, slightly inclined towards her as he trapped her within it. “Look at me, Ahsoka.”

 There was a moment’s hesitation before she did and Fives nodded to her, breaking his grim expression with a faint smile. “Better. We need to talk - about last night.”

 “I’m sorry.”

 Her blurted apology was unexpected. “For what?”

 “For last night,” tears glittered in her eyes but didn’t fall. “I should never have… I don’t know what I was… I  _used_  you, Fives, I can’t-”

 “Stop,” he told her firmly, cutting her off. “Stop right there. Last night was about you and Rex. It was a chance for you to hold him one last time. To experience the fullness of the love you felt for one another. To say goodbye.”

 Her lips trembled but she nodded, visibly swallowing with difficulty. “It wasn’t fair-”

 “Life isn’t fair,” he shook his head, not letting her finish again, “if it was, he’d be here with you and I’d be dead back on the ship.”

 “Neither of you should have had to die.”

 He smiled faintly. “In a perfect galaxy, I’d agree, but it’s not perfect.” He released the edge of the chair, flexing his fingers, “it’s not perfect or Rex would be here with you. He’s not. I am. I don’t… this doesn’t change anything, Ahsoka.”

 “I never should have asked, Fives.”

 He was glad she had even as he agreed with her. “Did it work?”

 She blinked, looking uncertain again.

 “Did it work, Ahsoka? Could you… feel him?”

 Her short nod was both a relief and a twist of a blade within his chest. “Then... I gave you Rex for one night. I can’t regret that.” He could but, even as he did, he didn’t. He hoped she never realized just how  _much_  more he’d given her and what it had cost  _him_  to do so. “I hope that memory can bring you comfort, Ahsoka. That’s all.”

 “It does… and it doesn’t.”

 “A double edged blade,” he agreed softly. He knew exactly how she felt. “You’re hurting, grieving, and we’re on our own. I think it’s perfectly natural we turned to one another - regardless of how.”

 “You… do?”

 He nodded. “We’re fugitives now. You heard what he said back on the  _Resolute_ , right?” It was enough to make his blood boil. “About Jedi and Clones and what’s happening?”

 Ahsoka nodded again, pain that had nothing to do with the loss of Rex clear within her gaze.

 Fives could only imagine what she must be feeling to know her whole order had been wiped out, but survival came first. “As fugitives, I need your help and you will need mine to avoid detection. We’ve always worked well together in the past. I’ve always considered you a friend and I’d like for us to continue to be.”

 “No pressure?”

 Fives shook his head. He meant what he said. He’d simply have to figure out a way to go back to the way things had been before he’d unknowingly released the chain on his emotions. He’d done it once, he would do it again. “Like I said; last night was about you and Rex. He was… a  _very_  lucky man.”

 “You’re sure?”

 “I am if you are,” he agreed, offering her his hand. “Friends?”

 Searching his gaze, her hand slowly came up to slide into his, squeezing with far more force than Fives had anticipated, relief shining within the depths of her azure orbs, mixed within the agony and despair he wished he could banish for good. A wish he didn’t dare act on, no matter that touching her was as much of an injury as a balm.

 “Friends,” she agreed huskily.

 Squeezing her hand back, Fives clung to it for a moment longer than he should have before letting her go and turning back towards the controls. Deliberately ignoring the shadow that crossed her expression as he released her, he was all business as he turned them to the task at hand.

 They had to find safe refuge to evaluate their options and, once they landed on the planet he’d set them for, he had every intention of getting blindingly drunk where Ahsoka couldn’t see him.

 

* * *

**_One Week Later_**

 Fives threw one arm over his eyes, trying to block out the sound of the young woman in the next room. Her gasps and moans slid through the thin wall with the same precision they breached the chinks in his mental armor. He heard her muffled cry, his dead  _brother’s_  name on her lips and tried not to listen, imagine or  _feel_.

 Their week had been tough, tougher than he’d ever anticipated.

 Arriving at the planet they would be leaving soon to avoid detection, the welcome of the villagers he’d once helped save from a stampeding herd of thousands of Ronto was genuinely warm. They weren’t affiliated with either side of the war, and he’d done it to impress the Chieftain’s daughter, but the end result was an acceptance with open arm despite the news that awaited them.

 Chancellor Palpatine had been behind the war. He was the Sith Lord the Jedi had been searching for since the beginning. He’d orchestrated it to ensure a takeover, using Fives and his brothers like mindless pawns to secure his holdings. The Jedi had been eliminated by the very troops they’d served with for so long. All but a handful.

 Clones like Fives and Rex, embittered and disillusioned by the GAR leadership, but not the Jedi as a whole, hadn’t followed the order. Ahsoka had been with them - and neither man would have let anything happen to her.

 That explained Ahsoka’s disorientation on board the  _Resolute_  just moments after the order had come down. Her faltering defenses during their subsequent run and how she’d been unable to sense the danger at her back, her reaction time compromised and clumsy as she’d turned in time to see the shot meant to kill her intercepted by Rex.

 A strangled cry from beyond the wall and Fives groaned, unable to help picturing her face, the way her neck arched in surrender, begging for a completion he wasn’t sure she could reach alone. A completion he would never be able to give her again.

 She wanted  _Rex_ … and he couldn’t  _be_  Rex for her no matter how much he might have wished otherwise. Watching her struggle without being able to do more than listen, Fives had found himself entertaining wild ideas, even for him.

 Like shaving and dying his hair. Something,  _anything_  to alleviate the pain in the depths of her eyes.

 Thankfully, reason still held sway inside his head and he didn’t. He was tempted, so very tempted, to offer to be what she needed just once more, but the memory of the last time, the  _first_  time was still too fresh. Even after a week, he could still  _taste_  her on the tip of his tongue.

 Listening to her now, he clenched his fingers into fists with a savage reminder she didn’t want  _him_ , and deliberately turned his mind away.

 The deluge of information that had inundated them since their arrival had left both of them reeling, but Ahsoka more than Fives. He’d long suspected something was wrong with the GAR and been set to go AWOL. Rex and Ahsoka had been attempting to talk him out of it when Order sixty six had been called.

 The young woman in the next room hadn’t deserved the fate the Chancellor called for, and neither Rex nor Fives had even entertained more than a fraction of a second of obedience. Surprisingly, they’d pulled their pistols, not on the Jedi, but on each other - and just as quickly holstered them, springing into action to get Ahsoka away.

 That quick action had undoubtedly saved her life - and cost Rex his.

 Unable to take it any longer, Fives pushed up from the bunk and slid into his fatigues - clothing he’d left behind the last time he’d been there - and exited his room. The home where he and Ahsoka had been placed, together at her insistence, was small; two bedrooms, one ‘fresher, a common room and a kitchen.

 Unfortunately, it meant he had to walk past her door. As he stepped beside it, Fives hesitated as he heard her keen brokenly, a sound that was both triumph and defeat, holding everything she felt for the man she’d lost. Unthinkingly, he gently placed one hand on the portal that separated himself from Ahsoka, closing his eyes against the rending sensation eating at his gut, made worse by the sudden, muffled sound of her tears.

  _Ahsoka_.

 She’d never been a crier, had endured some of the worst conditions anyone could, but he couldn’t blame her in this.

 She yearned for a man who could never return to her. For a man she’d let slip through her fingers without having taken the chance to embrace fully. Despite the fact she’d known just how short their lives were, something had held her back - and now she was paying for that hesitation.

 And so, as a result of her request, was he.

 He paid in ways Ahsoka probably didn't realize. In the way the light in her eyes died when he came into a room and she spied him and not Rex. How she stiffened every time he spoke. How her smile never graced her lips anymore and how he heard her cry herself to sleep nightly. How every time she sought the comfort of her memories, he was right there with her,  _feeling_  her, and agonizing over the fact that for all he'd given her, she didn't want  _him_.

 Shaking his head, he pulled away just as quietly as he’d come and headed for the main door. He could do nothing more for her except give her the space she needed to grieve.


	3. Part 3

_ Part Three _

Late morning, two days later, Fives returned from a run to find Ahsoka at the table, a mug of caf before her, another waiting for him opposite her seat. If he hadn’t been intent on his purpose, he’d have allowed himself to feel flattered at the thoughtful gesture. He might also have noted that, for the first time since leaving the  _Resolute_ , she didn't look crestfallen upon his entrance to the room, but resigned.

 “We have to go. Now.”

 She was half out of her chair before he’d finished speaking. “What’s happened?” 

 “An Imperial patrol is coming this way. If they find either of us here-”

 “They’ll torch the village.”

 Fives nodded. There was no need to mince words. They’d been following the atrocities the clone troopers, now called Stormtroopers, had been committing and it would just be another in a long line. They couldn’t let that happen.

 “Can we fight them?”

 He arched his eyebrows. It was the first sign he’d seen of the feisty warrior she’d been before Rex’s death. He hated to disappoint her. Getting her back into action would have been preferable. “We could, but if even one gets a message off, we’ll be dooming the people here.”

 “Then we run.” Decisively, she turned and headed for the rooms they’d been given.

 Relieved to see her quickly jumping into action, he couldn’t help admire the way she moved. As a healthy red blooded male, Ahsoka’s seventeen year old form was a delight to look at. Her muscles bunched and tightened with purpose, the sleek lines of her physique curved in just the right places. And for Fives, the man who was doing everything he could not to remember her writhing beneath him in her bed, watching her walk away was torture.

 “Fives?”

 His gaze darted to hers.

 “Better get a move on, soldier.”

 Shaking away the memories, glad she hadn’t seemed to notice his admiration, Fives did just that. Within five minutes they’d collected the things they’d brought, and the few they’d been given by the people, and were gone.

 Circling around to hide in the wilderness beyond the village, they went back to their shuttle, accessing the hatch way with the code Fives had programmed before going back inside. Stowing their gear didn’t take long, but Fives took his time.

 They couldn’t leave just yet without bringing the wrath of the Empire down on the village so, for the moment, they were stuck within the tin can. When he finally arrived in the cockpit, he found Ahsoka in the pilot’s seat, watching the sensors.

 “What’s the breakdown?”

 “As we expected,” she returned, tilting her head but keeping her gaze on the readouts. It let him trace the line of her neck with his gaze before catching himself. “The Imperials are on site and searching for contraband and fugitives.”

 “For us.”

 She nodded and turned to look at him as he slid into the copilot’s seat. “Fives?”

 “Yeah?”

 “Did… Rex ever tell you about the time he and I were stuck like this on Anoat?”

 The tentative question surprised him. She’d done her best to avoid talking about his brother since the night they’d shared a bed. Instead of sharing her grief, she'd withdrawn into herself. It was nice to see a sign of life from her.

 Rex had, in fact related that mission and his extreme frustration with the Padawan. It had been their first time really, truly alone together and Fives had pried the admission from his former Captain that his real frustration had lain in the fact he cared for Ahsoka - and regulations prevented him from doing anything about it.

 But he didn’t relay any of that, instead he shook his head, wanting to hear her side of it. “Why don’t you tell me about it, Comma-,” he cut off the no longer applicable title at her sharp look and gave her a cocky half smile. “ _Ahsoka_. It’ll help pass the time.”

 It took her a minute, to gather her thoughts and begin to speak. When she did, her words were hesitant, almost reverent. Relating a story that was just as frustrating as Rex’s in its own way, Ahsoka made him chuckle as she touched on a particularly embarrassing story Rex  _hadn’t_  shared. Apparently the stoic Captain, while reading a datapad, had walked in on her mid-change in the room they’d been sharing in the one bunk craft.

 “I’ve never seen  _anyone_  go that particular shade of chartreuse before,” she smiled then.

 It the first  _real_  smile he’d seen in over a week and it was as if the clouds had pulled back after a monsoon to reveal the sun. A band he’d been carrying around his heart loosened.

 “I don’t know who was more embarrassed, me or Rexster,” she sighed, her smile fading as she continued, “he was almost impossible to live with after that - but so adorable.”

 “Adorable?” Not a word Fives would have associated with any of his brother. “  _Rex?_ ”

 “Laugh if you want,” she told him primly, but he could see a sparkle of her old teasing nature shining through her eyes, “but he was. After that, he knocked three times,  _every time_  , just to be sure he didn’t catch me unawares. He wouldn’t even  _look_  at a datapad unless he was sitting down.”

 They shared smiles, Fives privately wondering how Rex had withstood it. Having Ahsoka so close and all to himself for three days… it was no wonder they’d never gotten together if having that kind of privacy had led them nowhere. Not that he’d ever  _say_  that, but privately, in the deepest recesses of his mind, his silently called his brother the biggest  _di’kut_  he’d ever known. To have had Ahsoka and let her slip through his fingers…

 Fives knew if he was ever that lucky, he’d hold onto her tightly and never let her go. He’d never let her  _doubt_  what he felt for her.

 But he wasn’t that lucky and Ahsoka’s heart belonged to Rex.

 “It was a fun mission,” Ahsoka’s smile disappeared almost to nothing. “We didn’t go on a lot of those, but that one… I should have told him how I felt then.” She blinked rapidly. “I knew. I  _knew_  I loved him and I couldn’t say anything.”

 “Why did you wait?”

 She sighed, looking away, back towards the displays. “I don’t know,” she answered heavily. “The time just never seemed… right for us. There was always something else - another mission, another battle, another debriefing. No  _time_  for us.”

 “You were completely  _alone_  for  _three_  days-”

 “I know,” she closed her eyes, visibly regretful, “I  _know_.”

 A weighty silence descended as Fives watched her struggle with it before he could stand it no more. She needed to talk, to let out the emotions she was withholding and not just through crying jags that struck her in the middle of the night. So he sought his memory for stories he knew about Rex, ones she might not have heard or, if she had, from his point of view.

 “Did I… ever tell you about the first time I met Rex, Ahsoka?”

 The expression turned his way was still haunted by shadows, but curious. “The Rishi base mission?”

 Fives nodded.

 “No, but Rex told me his version. Said you were one of the most arrogant brothers he’d ever encountered.”

 “I think you’re being nice.”

 “Maybe a little.”

 They shared another smile and Fives found he didn’t mind that it was at his expense. He regaled her with the tale, playing up the tension between Cody and Rex and himself and Domino squad. He told her the truth, making her giggle as he revealed what Rex had obviously not told her - using the head of an assassin droid to fool their sentries and Cody’s less than enthusiastic reaction.

 He went so far as to mimic the movement of the droid head with his hand and Rex’s voice saying, “Roger. Roger.”

 Her laughter was musical, delighted, and Fives found he could laugh with her, relieved to see her enjoying herself. It reminded him of the brothers he’d lost, of all of them, but it felt good to talk about those now beyond their reach.

 One story dissolved into two, then three, Fives doing his best to keep her smiling while keeping one eye on the sensor screens. Hours passed, the Imperial patrol having long since disappeared, and still they talked, wrapped in a cocoon of recognition and shared grief.

 They talked through the night, deciding to wait until morning to prevent suspicion from being roused about the village. Sharing war stories, Ahsoka related some of her more interesting solo adventures - stories she’d submitted in official report but never shared, she confided, with anyone but Rex.

 It humbled him to be taken into her confidence and, in return, with the starlight visible through the viewport, shared a few of his own harrowing missions first with, and then without, Echo.

 They spoke of the Citadel and the mission that had cost them another mutual friends, and Ahsoka’s hand crept into his - and stayed there, squeezing, empathizing. No doubt the pain she felt with Rex’s loss was shared, giving her an idea of what it had been for him losing Echo. Fives could see that empathy in her eyes and appreciated it.

 While Echo’s absence would always ache, it helped him understand her now. The generosity in her offering him support when she wasn’t yet recovered from Rex’s death staggered him.

 Their talk turned darker, towards Umbara as the first light touched the sky beyond, and while he’d spoken to her before she’d gone looking for Rex in the aftermath of the battle, he hadn’t told her everything at the time. With Rex gone and the GAR dissolved, absorbed into the Imperial army, he felt no qualms about revealing some of the darker thoughts that had struck him.

 About Skywalker and his abandonment of the troops, orders or not, to a Jedi with Krell’s record.

 About Krell and his tactics and the subsequent death penalty that had been handed down on himself and Jesse - but not carried out.

 About Rex and his inability to break from doctrine until it was nearly too late and his own frustration and anger.

 He held nothing back, the genuinely open discussion between them heavy but confidential. What had started out as a way to make her laugh, make her smile, dissolved into a confessional as every frustration and disillusion that had struck him at Umbara came pouring out.

 Through it all, Ahsoka held his hand, offering a silent support and understanding, despite the pain in her eyes.

 “I don’t think I’ve ever hated Rex more than when he’d come to collect us from the brig,” he confided with a frustrated shake of his head, feeling guilty for saying it now that Rex was gone. “He did the right thing in the end and didn’t let us get executed, so that’s something.”

 “He wasn’t perfect, Fives,” Ahsoka’s words were soft, resigned. “He was good at playing to be, but he hid his imperfections behind that façade. He had the same doubts, the same frustrations you did. He…  _regretted_  not breaking away from Krell before it cost so many lives.”

 “He should have acted,” Fives shot back harshly.

 “He did. He didn’t stop you and Hardcase and Jesse. He  _lied_  to a Jedi to give you the time you needed to make your plan work.” Ahsoka’s other hand grasped his, folding his much larger one between her palms. “It took Rex a long time to come to terms with what happened on Umbara, Fives. He… he lost faith, in the Jedi, because of it.”

 “He never lost faith in  _you_  .”

 “Because I  _listened_  ,” she shot back. “I made a point of discovering what was happening behind his warrior’s calm. It was killing him when I found at the top to that spire. He almost didn’t talk to me.”

 “Is this how you beseeched him?” His gaze deliberately dropped to their joined hands and Ahsoka, as if suddenly realizing what she was doing, pulled hers away with a jerk. His words turned unconsciously scornful. “If you always held his hand, it’s no wonder he was soft and couldn’t break away from Krell’s orders!”

 Ahsoka shot to her feet. “Rex was a good, strong,  _honorable_  man who followed his instincts!”

 “Is that why you had so much time together?” Knowing he’d made a grievous error the moment the words left his tongue, Fives made to get out of his seat as he saw them strike her like a physical thing. “Ahsoka, I didn’t-”

  _“Di’kut!”_

 By the time he’d gained his feet, her hissed insult was all that was left of her.

 Fives stared after her for a moment, flinching as the door to her room closed, feeling like the lowest form of scum he’d ever encountered. Which was pretty low. The burning in his gut was a churning mass of guilt. What had  _ever_  possessed him to-

 She’d cursed at him. In Mando’a.

 That fact registered belatedly, cutting off his previous train of thought and he sank back into the co-pilot’s seat. Rubbing his hands over his face, Fives silently called himself the worst names he could think of in every tongue he knew, repeating her insult over and over again.

 He’d accomplished his goal in getting her to open up to him, but while encouraging her to talk, he’d not guarded himself, his  _tongue_ , as carefully as he should have. He’d opened up to her, responding to her vulnerability with his own, sharing things he’d never told another soul.

 About Echo. About the GAR. About Umbara and Rex.

 And in doing so, he’d forgotten, for a time, just  _why_  they’d been talking.

  _“Take care of my cyar'ika, v_ od  _.”_

 Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, struggling to re-erect the barriers she’d so easily circumvented, searching for the cynical outlook that had been the core of him for so long. For the jaded, damaged man who suspected everyone and everything; the one who trusted no one but himself.

 What he found wasn’t what he searched for. He owed Ahsoka an apology.


	4. Chapter 4

She wouldn’t let him give it.  
  
In a very un-Ahsoka manner, she refused to speak with him that day and the whole of the next night, leaving Fives to start the ship, run it up, set them space bound and plot a course. Which he did, setting their ship for wild space and a location on the edge of the unknown regions. Another port where they could stop and collect supplies, replenish their food and water, and get out of the shuttle for a couple of days.  
  
Their journey would take the better part of a week and he had no intention of spending them in silence. Once hyperspace was engaged after the second of two small course corrections, he set the autopilot and headed to the back of the ship. It didn’t take long before he’d reached her door, several steps, but a sound that was coming from beyond it caught his attention as he lifted his hand to knock.  
  
The distinctive humming of a lightsaber.  
  
“Ahsoka?”  
  
Turning from her room, he reached the small cargo bay of the shuttle where their supplies were kept. Opening the door, he stopped on the threshold.  
  
Ahsoka stood in the center of the small space, the crates stacked high, some floating, some precarious, but all in perfect control. She slowly moved her body, her shoto in hand, her lightsaber still on her belt, twisting it and, as it moved, so did the crates above and around her. It was a perfect spiral, spinning slowly in a direct counterpoint with her movements.  
  
Fives crossed his arms over his chest and planted his shoulder against the door frame, knowing better than to interrupt her, but unable to bring himself to leave. He watched as she turned one way and then another, the perfect control of her Force abilities at odds with the chaos that their lives had become.  
  
It was… beautiful.  
  
_She_ was beautiful.   
  
And he’d hurt her.  
  
Deliberately, lashing out because he’d been jealous - the epiphany struck him suddenly - of her devotion to a dead man. It would have been laughable if it hadn’t been so raw.  
  
Fives had forged his own way through the trooper ranks since he’d gotten out of basic. He and Echo had stuck together after Rishi, climbing the ladder of trooper hierarchy to become ARC troopers together, but no matter what he accomplished, he’d never succeeded where Captain Rex had. He’d never become as close to the young woman before him; never engaged more than her friendship.  
  
Cerulean pools of calm opened to meet his, her shoto turning to point directly at him. As he watched, the crates settled back to their original positions, seeming to stack themselves, and all the while, Ahsoka’s gaze never left his.  
  
He wondered what she saw.  
  
She didn’t move as the last of the crates settled, her expression morphing from calm into guarded. She straightened and took a deep breath, tilting her chin as if expecting an argument - or a scolding. Neither of which were forthcoming.  
  
Swallowing his pride, which had taken him some doing since it was such a _large_ thing and he’d almost choked on it, Fives stayed where he was. “Ahsoka.”  
  
“Fives.”  
  
“Can you forgive a _di’kut_ for running his mouth?”  
  
“Depends on what he ran his mouth for.”  
  
“Disparaging a _vod_ who wasn’t here to defend himself,” he lifted the outer hand he’d crossed and held up his fingers, counting them off as he reported his crimes, “giving a former superior officer a lecture in the hows and whys of one of the most botched campaigns in the history of the war and criticizing the leadership.”  
  
“Fives-”  
  
He shook his head with a faint smile at her exasperated tone and continued seriously, straightening and taking a step into the cargo bay. “And finally, failing to support the _cyar'ika_ of my Captain, as were his last orders, when she needs me most.” He paused, finishing softly. ”I’m sorry, Ahsoka.”  
  
She stared at him for a long moment before motioning him forward. He went, joining her in the center of the room, but not touching her. Touching her, he’d discovered in the cockpit, was a good way to put him on edge. It reminded him too much of what he’d tasted and could never again have.  
  
“Why, Fives?”  
  
He looked at her questioningly, not following her train of thought.   
  
“Why did you lash out at me? What… what did I do?”   
  
He had three choices. He could lie, be partially honest or totally honest - and the latter wasn’t going to solve anything, simply make things worse. “It wasn’t you,” that much he could at least be honest about. “Umbara’s a touchy subject.”  
  
“It wasn’t Umbara, Fives. It was about Rex. You… made it personal.”   
  
“Everything about this is personal.”  
  
“I can’t…” Her eyes were dark as she stared at him. “I can’t read you, Fives. You’re locked up tighter than the holocron vault.” She half stepped towards him and he tensed. “See… that. If you were Rex I might…” with a hard swallow she forged ahead. “I might know what it meant. But I can’t read you like I can-” she caught herself and quickly corrected her terminology, “ _could_ him. If I did something to make you mad, or hurt you… you need to tell me.”  
  
Staring at her, Fives weighed just how much she needed to hear versus what he could tell her. Deciding he was doing neither of them any favor in withholding it from her after his crack in the cockpit the day before, he slid his hands into his back pockets.  
  
“You didn’t. Rex did.”  
  
“Rex?”  
  
“On Umbara. He nearly had me executed, Ahsoka.”   
  
“I know.”  
  
“No,” he countered, holding her gaze. “No you _don’t_. You weren’t _there_. Read all the reports you want, but what they won’t tell you is _exactly_ what we went through on those front lines. It won’t describe the confidence in the troops under General Skywalker’s command or the confusion when he abandoned us to Krell. It can’t tell you how it _felt_ to be stripped of every identifying mark and treated like a flesh droid!”  
  
“Rex told me about Krell and how he used your designations instead of names.”   
  
“Did he tell you how he followed Krell’s orders when he scrapped General Skywalker’s plan? Or how he led us into an ambush that cost us dozens of men not once, not twice, but three times? How he marched us straight up the middle on a suicide mission for the main gates because _Kell_ ordered it?"  
  
"He was just trying to be a good soldier, you can't-"   
  
"I can and I do, Ahsoka. There's being a good soldier and then there's following orders blindly. Rex knew better. He _knew_ and yet he did it anyway! Krell ordered us to march, so Rex made sure we marched. Krell ordered no retreat, so Rex made sure we didn't retreat."  
  
He paced before her like a caged predator, feeling the tension across his shoulders, remembering how it had felt to watch Rex deal with Krell. How it had felt to see that Rex had been just as against every one of the General's plans as he was - and yet followed them anyway.  
  
Being disillusioned about a man he's thought of as mentor and hero had been hard to take, harder in some ways, than Krell and his suicidal orders. Watching as Rex had gone against everything he knew to be right and sacrificed brothers unnecessarily, simply to _follow orders_ , had been devastating.  
  
"Did Rex tell you that every alternate plan that was suggested was shot down immediately, without discussion?"  
  
"He told me he gave you and Jesses and Hardcase the time you needed to execute your plan to take out the supply ship in orbit."  
  
"Only after I badgered him into it!" Rounding on her with a wide gesture, Fives knew his expression was probably wild and dark, but didn't care. She _needed_ to see the man she mourned wasn't perfect. "Rex wouldn't act against Krell, Ahsoka. Krell was a Jedi. That authority meant more to Rex than the lives of us - of his _brothers_. Rex really was a good soldier. A man _programmed_ to follow orders."  
  
"He wasn't programmed!"  
  
“He might as well have been!”  
  
"No - he wasn't. He... he agonized over those decisions, Fives. He didn't want to follow Krell anymore than you did."  
  
"Then he shouldn't have!"  
  
"And been court-martialed for it?"  
  
"If necessary. I was."  
  
"That's easy for you to say," she snapped at him defensively, her eyes luminescent under the overhead lights, "he's not here to defend himself!"  
  
"Rex made mistakes, Ahsoka. Big ones."  
  
"He _knew_ that, Fives. He told me-" she faltered as he bared his teeth at her in a snarl of distaste.   
  
"He told you what you wanted to hear. I bet he didn't tell you about taking Jesse and I into custody, _after_ we had just won Krell air superiority. And why did he do it? Because we disobeyed a direct order! Or about how he'd been _intent_ on following through with our summary execution. Did he tell you that?"  
  
"He wouldn't have."  
  
"He _did_ ," Fives snapped, his temper breaking free as he advanced on her, his fists clenching at his sides. "Your precious Rex stood by and let Dogma and a firing squad step up to execute Jesse and I because _Krell_ had ordered it. It didn't matter that we'd just saved all their miserable lives or that we'd succeeded in accomplishing a mission no one wanted to sanction!"  
  
"He wouldn't have given the order, Fives." she choked, backing away from him. "He couldn't... he..."  
  
"I saw it in his eyes, Ahsoka," the words were practically a snarl. "Rex had no intention of stopping that firing squad!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Rex stood by while _Dogma_ gave the order to fire. "  
  
_"No!"_ She practically screamed at him, tears finally spilling down her cheeks. "Rex couldn't have! He... _wouldn't_! He..."  
  
“He _did!”_ Grabbing her by the shoulders, Fives gave her a shake, looking down into her wide, wounded eyes as something primal twisted in his gut. He needed to _make_ her understand. "Rex was fallible. _Flawed_. He didn't have the conviction to go against Krell’s orders - to make his own decisions!"  
  
She tore free of his grip, staring at him for half a heartbeat, before answering. "Then why are you here now?"  
  
"Because _I_ spoke out against it and _convinced_ them that it was wrong. Because _I_ forced them to consider what would happen, not just to Jesse and I, but to all clones if they didn't stop it!"  
  
"Because he _chose_ to let you go!"  
  
Which wasn’t how it had happened at all. Was Ahsoka even aware that he’d actually _been_ fired upon by the men he’d served with? By his brothers? By men under Rex’s command while her precious _Captain_ had stood by silently and let them make the decision he couldn’t?

 Was she even aware that Rex had been _unable_ to do what was necessary when push had come to shove? That it had taken until _after_ the shots had been fired before Rex had made a decision? That if the brothers on the firing squad hadn’t been willing to go against Krell that he, Fives, wouldn’t be there and that the rest of the Umbara campaign might have gone very, _very_ differently?  
  
His face was inches from hers and, as he stared at her, he realized just _what_ he was doing. Fives straightened in disgust. "Keep your illusions. Build him up into something he wasn't and make him the perfect man in your mind. It doesn't change the fact that Rex was just a man, Ahsoka. He was a flawed as the rest of us, more so, no matter how much you want to ignore that."  
  
Turning on his heel, he headed back to the cockpit, his anger simmering through his veins with the need of a release he wouldn't be getting anytime soon. The sound of her pained gasp and strangled sob followed him, echoing in his ears, but he was too wounded to care.  


* * *

  
Things between he and Ahsoka, after that, remained strained for several days and she spent as little time as she could in his company. When she did return to his side, it was a more subdued and cautious Ahsoka, careful to pick her topics as ones that wouldn't lead back to Rex or Umbara.  
  
Fives didn't know if he should have been grateful or disappointed, but let it slide. She wasn't ready to hear the truth about Rex, no matter how much she needed to, and he wasn't going to force the issue.

 Days turned to weeks and weeks into months, as they set their course through the Galaxy, dodging Imperial entanglements and meeting up, briefly, with other survivors. They found few Jedi, few force users of any kind, and made good use of the less ethical contacts he'd made during the war.  
  
They called a personal truce, as friends, and went back to an uneasy alliance that, over time, became more and more comfortable. But Fives didn't forget to guard himself or his tongue, and was careful to say nothing that would upset her.  


Six months into their travels together, Fives and Ahsoka had landed on Nar Shadda to collect supplies and refuel, when he ran into a one of the women who'd been so good to him the last time he'd been there; a Twi'lek dancer named Cer'ya. At the club where they were supposed to meet a contact, she enticed him to the backroom for a bit of fun while Ahsoka kept an eye out in the booth where they were supposed to meet.  
  
Cer'ya had been demanding and rough and Fives had let go. Biting her, pressing her, _controlling_ her with hand, teeth and tongue, he'd made her writhe in the storage room she'd led him to. Finally, pressing her down, face first, to the door, he’d made her scream her delight into the palm of his hand.  
  
For all he showed Cer’ya a good time and had gained a much needed release, he hid the liaison from Ahsoka. Fives returned to her feeling guilty, but not guilty enough to prevent a repeat performance.

 Nar Shadda would hold the first of many old acquaintances he ran into in subsequent weeks and he started tracking and selecting the planets by the women he knew who would be there.   


	5. Chapter 5

**_Ten months post Order 66_ **  
  
Fives gritted his teeth as one hand splayed in the center of the dancer’s back as he held her down and his body tensed, surging with a strangled cry. Bracing his hand on either side of the mauve hips, he struggled to catch his breath. The tension within him was mostly gone, for the moment, but not in the way he'd hoped.  
  
"Gonna let me up, sugar?"  
  
Pulling away, he tucked himself in and zipped up his pants, before helping her up to straighten her clothes with a roguish smile. She sighed softly, blowing him a kiss, and that was how he left her as he turned to walk away. She didn't come after him as he exited the back room of the cantina and his gaze went straight to the young woman he had wished had been in the dancer’s place.  
  
Across the room, Ahsoka was talking in low tones, her gestures deliberate, with a Rodian at one of the tables in a shadowed corner. She seemed to sense Fives’ regard after a moment and lifted her head, her eyes darting his with a half-smile before resuming her discussion.  
  
Fives seriously considered turning around to return to the back room. But Ahsoka beckoned him… and he went. Joining her, she flashed him a look before introducing him to the Rodian as he slid into the booth with them, opposite Ahsoka.  
  
"Jax thinks he can find us a safe house while we gather supplies."   
  
Regarding the Rodian suspiciously, he could see the gleam in the other male's eye that was familiar. Desire and want. This male wanted what was his and, his instincts, which had already been on alert, went into overdrive. "We just need to resupply,” he caught himself before he said her name. Her name was being bandied about as part of the Jedi most wanted list, so he improvised, “'Soka, we need to be out of here in the morning."  
  
"So quickly?" the Rodian looked taken aback and Fives caught a brief flash of panic that was quickly buried. "Your companion implied you would be needing shelter for several days."  
  
"Plans change."  
  
Ahsoka glanced at him with a frown but didn't challenge him. "Sorry Jax, you know how it is."   
  
The speculation in Jax's eyes was the last thing Fives wanted to see, recognition below the surface as he glanced between Fives and Ahsoka. Jax ducked his head closer to the young Togrutan and Fives tensed. He couldn't help it.   
  
"Plans must be very flexible for a Jedi and clone on the run from the empire," there was malice in his tone, the words barely reaching Fives, "I could be... _persuaded_ to forget that you were here. If… you're _nice_ to me...’Ssssoka."   
  
Fives acted before he thought. Sliding close, one arm curled around the alien's neck in a companionable gesture. The sound of the cantina's chatter and music muffled the snapping, grinding sound that immediately followed as he broke it with an almost casual move.  
  
"Fives!"  
  
He eased the Rodian down to the table, making him look as if he'd passed out from too much ale, before turning to Ahsoka.  
  
She looked... displeased.  
  
“What?”  
  
Shocked, her gaze darted from the Rodian to him and back. Her words, when she finally spoke, were hushed and hard. "That wasn't necessary. You didn't have to kill him!"  
  
"I couldn't very well leave him alive," he returned just as intently, unable to understand her problem. "Do you have any idea the price on our heads?"  
  
"There were other options!"  
  
Other options that would have gotten them both killed. Leaning across the table, he wondered when she'd become so squeamish. "What other options, 'Soka? A Force trick? You know as well as I do they don't work on everyone."  
  
"A bribe would have-"  
  
"Unless you're hiding half a million credits someplace I don't know about, we don't have anything that would have made it worth his while."  
  
"That doesn't mean-"  
  
"This was the only sure way he wouldn't talk," Fives hissed, frowning at her, "any other way and he'd have sold us out in a heartbeat for the price on our heads."  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
“No? Would you have rather shared his bed than me break his neck?” The look on her face at his crude question said it all. “I didn’t think so.” A glance around the room showed no one seemed to be paying them any attention and Fives splashed some of the drink the Rodian hadn’t touched on the body before leaving it half full by one of his limp hands. “We should be going.”  
  
“What about him?”  
  
Aw hell. She wasn’t going to let it drop. Fives flashed her a hard smile. “Leave it. It’s not going anywhere.”  
  
They slid from the booth, Ahsoka stepping close to his side with a hissed breath. “It?”   
  
“He. It.” he dismissed the dead Rodian with little more than a flicker of thought. “This is a trap. We have to get out of here.”  
  
“Fives-”  
  
“If you need to lecture me, feel free,” he returned tightly. “Just do it later. Last time I checked, this cantina didn’t have a dozen bouncers.”  
  
The comment made her look up, following his gaze, and Fives knew what she would see. Two men at each door, including two at the door to the stage exit, and two at the kitchen along with two more were closing in on them from the other side of the room. Fives silently cursed himself. If he hadn’t been so intent on reacquainting himself with Laya and her charms, he’d have paid a little more attention. He glanced at Ahsoka and she shook her head.  
  
“A fight will get us grounded.”  
  
“Fleeing will get us noticed.”  
  
“Fives,” her voice was soft, intense, “we can’t-”   
  
“We’ll get out of this,” he promised her, just as softly. “Just play along.”   
  
“What-”  
  
Fives pushed her away, towards the bouncers and she stumbled, nearly going down on one knee, her eyes wide and surprised. Without waiting for her to recover, Fives made them the center of attention, the exact _opposite_ of what wanted fugitives would want. He played to the suddenly watching crowd.  
  
“It figures I’d find you here with _him_!”  
  
Her confusion was so genuine he’d have laughed if he hadn’t been intent on getting them out of the potentially lethal situation. “What are you talking about?”  
  
_“Him!”_ Fives pointed at the Rodian and leveled a look on her that had made many a shiny tremble. It gave the advancing ‘bouncers’ pause as he brought his outstretched hand back to his chest and jabbed his thumb at himself . “You belong with _me_ , ‘Soka.”   
  
There was a gleam in her eyes of sudden understanding as she drew herself up to her full height. “And what about you and that dancer?”  
  
“Dancer?”  
  
“What else am I supposed to do with myself if you’re always wasting your time with her?”   
  
He hadn’t realized she’d noticed. “Now ‘Soka, you know-”   
  
“I don’t know!”  
  
Her cry cut him off, their audience having disappeared to the background as he watched her approach him, practically running at him. Fives braced himself, shocked when she struck him, careening into his chest to slam both hands against his pectorals, forcing him back a step.  
  
“If you weren’t always here with _her_ , maybe I wouldn’t be here either!”  
  
Fives caught her hands, holding them flat against his chest, searching eyes that were wide and glistening as they stared up into his. Opening his mouth to speak, his voice was softer than it should have been. “If I-”  
  
“Sir?”  
  
His head came up, frowning, and Fives realized he’d been caught in the moment, lost in his own deception, one of the ‘bouncers’ having finally reached their side. “What?”  
  
The man took a step back. “Sir, maybe you and your…” he glanced at Ahsoka, making a decision, “wife would like to take this to a more private location?”  
  
Fives glanced down as Ahsoka’s fingers curled under his. She shifted her eyes to the door without moving her head. Squeezing her fingers he nodded to the bouncer. “Good idea.” He turned, slipping one arm around Ahsoka’s shoulders. Keeping one of her hands in his, _just for show,_ he told himself, and steered her towards the exit. “Sorry for the ruckus.”   
  
“Sir?”  
  
Fives glanced back at the ‘bouncer’.  
  
“It might be a good idea for you not to come back anytime soon.”   
  
Flashing the man a half smile, he tightened his grip on Ahsoka’s shoulders visibly, pulling her flush against him and having to bite back a groan. She felt so _good_ against him. He pushed the thought away. She might be in his arms, but she was beyond his reach. “I figured that one out myself. Thanks.”  
  
He kept Ahsoka close as they headed for the door, keeping one eye on their destination and the other on her. She had her head on his shoulder, the ache in his chest a direct connection to the ache within the rest of his body. They walked together, as if one person, her hip shifting and moving against his, her fingers squeezing his hand but, for all appearances, he could feel the tension within her.  
  
Leaving the cantina, Fives steered Ahsoka towards one of the nearby speeder stands. “Spaceport,” he told the driver.  
  
They stayed together until they were seated, and then Ahsoka, to his surprise, swung her legs over his knees, leaving her head on his shoulder, as the speeder began to depart. Not one to question his fortune, Fives wrapped her closer to his chest, hating himself for his weakness but unable to resist.  
  
It wasn’t until several blocks later that she spoke. “Are we clear?”   
  
“I think we were clear when we hit the speeder stand.”   
  
“Fives?”  
  
He drew back even though she made no move to shift her position, looking down at her questioningly.  
  
“Why did you do it?”  
  
He didn’t pretend not to understand. “Because it had to be done, Ahsoka. His other… _alternative_ wasn’t viable.”  
  
“That was my choice to make. Not yours.”  
  
Fives let her go, dragging himself away from her a little and deliberately putting some space between them. “You didn’t look thrilled with the idea of being that Rodian’s mate.”  
  
“I wasn’t, but I could have just told him that.”   
  
“And then what? Made ourselves even bigger targets?”   
  
“I don’t know.” She closed her eyes, tilting her head to the back of the seat. “There should have been another way.”  
  
“The easiest solution to a problem is usually the right one,” he countered, leaning in close so their words wouldn’t carry to the Dug in front, anger he couldn’t quite hide underlying his tone. “You’re thinking that peace is the way of things but you’re not taking into account how things have changed.” Her eyes sprang open, connecting with his. “You’re thinking like a Jedi, Ahsoka.”  
  
“I _am_ a Jedi.”   
  
“Not anymore!” His words were harsher than intended, and she recoiled, but he caught and held her forearm, preventing her from moving away. “Thinking like a Jedi will get us both killed.”  
  
“How else am I supposed to think, Fives? I’ve never been anything _but_ a Jedi!”  
  
Fives glanced at the driver, glad to see they were still on course and apparently hadn’t yet been overheard. This was a dangerous conversation to be having in the back of a speeder for hire. “Everything you know can get us killed. I’ll just have to teach you a different way of thinking.”  
  
“I’m not going to go around snapping necks just because someone recognizes me.”   
  
“Leave that part to me. Just don’t judge me when it’s necessary!”   
  
Ahsoka’s gaze was burning with condemnation and Fives found he had to look away lest she read in his gaze what he _didn’t_ want her to see.

 Sometimes he wished he knew more about Jedi and their powers. Could she sense his feelings? His desire? Had she sensed just how _hard_ it had been for him to sit there and listen to the Rodian make the remarks he had? Did she know he’d have gladly broken a thousand necks if it meant keeping the suckered fingertips of creeps like the Rodian away from her?  
  
The speeder pulled up to the spaceport shortly thereafter, but their conversation was done.

Climbing out separately, Fives paid the driver before turning away for the walk that would take them back to their ship. Hidden in the wilderness, they hadn’t dared land at an official docking bay. It was too dangerous.  
  
Now it was too dangerous to stay and he found he wished they’d taken the risk.


	6. Chapter 6

Their walk back was silent, tense, and Fives was acutely conscious of the Jedi at his back. Part of him still simmered with frustration and indignation; how _dare_ she judge him for doing what was required? How _dare_ she presume to judge _him_ when her own response to the situation had been lacking? He’d been _trained_ to deal with situations like this, had been doing so for years; who was _she_ to disapprove?

 Ahsoka was silent behind him as they walked, reaching the ship after an hour of trekking without so much as a sigh, and Fives undid the security combination. Glancing her way, she gave him the nod of an ‘all clear’, and he stepped inside, expecting Ahsoka to head for her room as he made for the cockpit, and was a little surprised when she didn’t.

 Taking the pilots chair, Fives began to run the power up sequence and pre-flight diagnostics. “You don’t have to keep me company, Ahsoka,” he told her shortly. “I’ve got this.”

 “We need to talk, Fives.”

 “About what, your little performance back there?” He slanted her a look that wasn’t nearly as teasing as he wanted it to be before he turned back to his task. “You should audition for day time holovids.”

 “"Fives...” she sounded exasperated but earnest. “You called me a liability.”

 “Not in so many words,” he countered, “I said everything you know could get us killed. That’s not the same thing.”

 “My knowledge and I aren’t exactly separate entities.” She paused and her words turned almost sad. “If I'm such a liability, why don't you leave? You could disappear without me."

 His fingers hesitated on the controls, an honest answer hovering on the tip of his tongue, only the knowledge that she still mourned Rex giving him pause. How would she react if she knew the truth? If she knew that he stayed because he couldn’t bear to leave her, even if it meant sacrificing his chance for anonymity and safety? If she knew that leaving her behind would be like cutting out an essential part of himself; a part that would eventually kill him?

 He couldn’t risk it.

She had no inkling of what he truly felt for her and wasn’t about to give her one now. So he settled on a half-truth. “Rex asked me to look out for you, Ahsoka,” he didn’t look at her as he spoke, continuing with the pre-flight. “I’d never break that promise.”

“But you didn’t _make_ a promise Fives. I was there. You didn’t _say_ anything.”

“I didn’t have to. Rex knew all he had to do was ask.”

“An unspoken promise isn’t enough,” she insisted, stepping further into the cockpit and behind the copilot’s chair, into the corner of his vision. “I know the respect you lost for him on Umbara, remember? _Why_ , Fives? Why stay with me? Why honor a promise you didn’t make?”

He ignored her reference to Umbara, though it had a jarring effect. It was the first time either of them had brought up Rex or that fateful mission since their botched discussion ten months prior. “If Rex had looked at you and asked you to take care of _me_ as his dying wish,” he turned to look at her, “would _you_ not honor that?”

“Of course I would.”

“How can I do any less?”

“I don’t want you looking after me, Fives,” she countered, leaning against the seatback, her arms folded across it. “I’m not a child or the Padawan you knew when we first met. Rex meant well but… he’s not here anymore. You can’t sacrifice your future to honor a promise to him.”

 _He’s not here anymore_.

Her words were matter of fact, resigned almost, holding none of the pain or desolation he’d heard in their previous conversations. Fives found himself searching her face for signs that she wasn’t as accepting as she sounded, picking up on the nuances others would have missed.

 A tightening around her eyes and mouth, the subtle paling of the chevrons on her montrals and a hitch in her breathing, but it was the clarity in her gaze that drew him back. There were still shadows in her eyes, probably always would be, but they weren’t the all-consuming kind he’d seen in the aftermath of Rex’s sacrifice.

These weren’t the eyes of a broken woman, but a healing one and, beyond those shadows, he saw determination. Ahsoka had reached acceptance and in more than just words.

“It’s only a sacrifice if it’s an imposition,” he countered. “I _chose_ to be here, Ahsoka,” he flashed her a faint smile. “You, better than anyone, should know by now I don’t do things I don’t want to.”

“I’m learning.” She tilted her head. “I owe you and apology.”

“For what?”

“Judging,” she winced. “You were right. About Jax.”

Arching his eyebrows, he leaned back in his chair and crossed one booted foot at the knee, his wrist resting on his ankle, but didn’t say anything. She looked as if she had something to say and he was curious to see where she’d take it. After her disapproval in the speeder, an apology had been the last thing he’d expected.

Exhaling on a long breath, she shifted forward against the back of the seat. “I was once told that experience outweighs everything from military rank to social station,” he could well imagine _who_ had told her that, “including age and appearance. Things have changed a lot since then,” she smiled faintly, “but the lesson is still valid. I’m out of my depth here Fives. You were right. I _am_ a Jedi and before you say I’m not anymore, I don’t know how to be anything else. I was raised in the temple and trained before I understood what the Force actually was. I can’t _not_ be a Jedi.”

“Then we’ll both die.”

“Not if you can teach me.”

“To be a bastard like me?” He snorted. “It wouldn’t suit you.”

“I know how to kill if necessary,” she countered. “I’ve done it. You’ve _seen_ me do it, but I won’t… I _can’t_ be that callous with other people’s lives.”

“It wasn’t callous, it was _necessary_ ,” he countered. “If I hadn’t killed him, we’d be in Imperial custody at best, dead at worst.”

“You’re assuming we wouldn’t have been able to get out of situation. What was that back there anyway?”

“Like that, did you?”

“It was… different.”

Fives chuckled. “It’s called improvising.”

“But why _that_ … exhibition?”

“Because it was the _last_ thing fugitives would be expected to do.” Shaking his head, he placed both feet back on the floor and turned to check on the preflight run up. Almost done. “People who don’t want to be noticed will often try and sneak off or break detection by disappearing into a crowd. The best way to avoid raising suspicion, contrarily, is to draw attention to yourself.”

“Unless they know it’s you they’re looking for.”

“Right,” he flashed her a smile. “That little scene in the cantina made every last one of those bouncers, or whatever they were, question whatever signal the Rodian had broadcast. If we really were fugitives, we weren’t about to make a spectacle of ourselves.”

“Especially with something so personal.”

He nodded.

“I never would have thought of it.”

“I know,” his hands flew over the console as the preflight finished. “We’ve supplies enough to reach Yinchorr but no further.”

“And risk another contact?”

“We don’t exactly have a choice, Ashoka,” Fives turned back on her with a pointed look. “If we don’t supply here, the only planet we can reach within range that I have contacts on is Yinchorr. Unless you’ve a better option?”

“Kiros is nearby.”

“Kiros?”

“Togrutan colony,” she shifted, moving around the seat to settle in. “No reason you would have heard of it unless you’ve been following my career as a Jedi.”

Which he had been, Fives admitted to himself, admiring the deftness of her movements as she was securing her crash webbing, but Kiros didn’t ring any bells. He hoped she didn’t notice as he forced himself to refocus. “Not a lot of excitement?”

“They were taken by Zygerrian slavers,” Ahsoka flashed him a faint smile. “It wasn’t a well-publicized mission.”

Publicized or not, Fives thought he would have heard _something_ about it.

Brothers gossiped and Ahsoka had always been a favorite topic. Especially since his ARC brethren had known he’d come from General Skywalker’s Five Hundred and First Legion and, more importantly, Captain’s Rex’s Torrent Company. He could only think of one reason why he wouldn’t have heard about it. “Not a clone mission?”

“Cody and Rex collaborated,” her smile was slightly wistful, “and at the end, the Wolffe pack and Master Plo’s-” she faltered before continuing, shaking her head. “Long story short, the colonists on Kiros were captured and pressed into slavery by the Zygerrians at the behest of the Separatists. We investigated and rescued them, returning the colonists to Kiros.”

“Worlds with smaller colonies aren’t exactly easy to blend into.”

“We won’t need to,” she countered, “they’re friends.”

“Like Jax?”

She sighed. “I thought he was better than he was. I thought I could make it work.”

“We all make mistakes, Ahsoka. Even Jedi.”

She was quiet for a moment as he took them off the ground, managing the stabilizers and balancing their pitch as Fives angled them for space. The ship’s internal dampeners mitigated the violence of atmospheric ejection and within minutes they were back in black void.

Alone, just the two of them, with a fundamental shift between them. He could _feel_ it.

Waiting for her to speak, Fives set their course for the optimum hyperspace entry point while she programmed the navcomputer. A quick look her way showed crease in her brow, a slight frown on her lips as she considered something carefully. Her hands, however, moved with precision as she entered the coordinates - either from memory or due to practice. Fives suspected both.

It wasn’t until they hit hyperspace that she turned to him and spoke again. “Fives?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you mean… when you said Rex was fallible?”

He blinked, the question coming from nowhere, and having no context. “Where did that come from?”

“Ten months ago you tried to tell me something.” She straightened her shoulders, as if bracing herself and Fives couldn’t help but watch her warily. “Something I wasn’t ready to hear. Something about Umbara and Rex and… and how he treated you.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget it.”

“No.”

“Drop it, Ahsoka.”

“Not a chance,” she came back tightly, unclipping her crash webbing. “You were trying to tell me something.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Fives,” her exasperation showed through her tone. “You just broke a man’s neck back there because it was preferable to me sleeping with him.”

“I didn’t take you for being into rape.”

There was silence for a long moment and Ahsoka stared at him blankly. He’d been trying to shock her and Fives suspected that, for the first time, she knew it - and wasn’t going for it. When she spoke, she didn’t even dignify his statement with an acknowledgement.

“Ten months ago I wasn’t ready to hear what you had to say about Rex and what happened on Umbara.” Her words seemed to be deliberately chosen and Fives had to respect the control she was exhibiting; his comment had been uncalled for. “Ten months ago I wasn’t ready to hear why someone who considered Rex his closest brother since Echo, was so willing to say bad things about him.”

“And now you are.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I want to hear what happened on Umbara from your side of things Fives. I heard it from his. I know what he went through but… Umbara changed both of you. I _need_ to hear your side of it.”

She really did. It was in the quiet conviction of her tone and in the steady regard and the depths of her eyes, determination overlapping the sorrows that had bowed her head for so long.

Fives marveled at that fact. After the last time he’d been certain she’d never revisit the subject again. And he’d been grateful for it. Now…

“You won’t like it.”

She smiled faintly. “I’ve had to deal with a lot of things I don’t like over the last year. I watched my Master pull further and further away, unable to help him until he finally sent me away. I had the men I considered brothers turn on me and kill the man I loved as I watched. I watched Rex sacrifice himself for me - and don’t tell me he didn’t,” the pain was back in her eyes but not as strong as it had been; mostly, Fives could see guilt. “You know as well as I do that Rex knew what he was doing when he took that bolt for me. He knew he wouldn’t come out of it alive.”

“He knew,” Fives agreed. If he’d been in the position to throw himself in front of that blaster bolt, he’d have done it just as willingly.

“I’ve had my world turned upside down. I’ve lost the order that raised me, the man who brought me to it,” Fives knew she spoke of Jedi Master Plo Koon. She’d long ago shared the story of her initiation into the Jedi, “and the very foundation of a Galaxy I thought was unshakable. I learned that the man I’d thought to be my Master’s friend was actually a Sith Lord… and that the man who’s been traveling with me since the fall has facets to him I haven’t seen or accepted.”

“That’s not something not to like you know. You might _not_ like me once you get to know me.”

Fives meant it as a joke but it fell flat.

“I know enough about who you are, Fives. If I didn’t like you, I could have left a long time ago. I’ve told you things I’ve only ever told Rex. You’re more than just a friend. It just didn’t strike me until our walk back that, for all you let me lean on you, you _don’t_ lean on me.”

“I’d break you.”

“Not anymore.” She took a deep breath and leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees as she folded her hands together, her expression earnest. “For any relationship to work, this has to go both ways. What’s more, I _want_ to know about Umbara. I _want_ to know what changed. I _want_ to know what prompted you to deck Rex in the mess hall after the fact without as much as a warning.”

“No you don’t.”

“I _do_ , Fives. I _want_ to know. You might have chewed me out pretty good afterwards but I wanted to know then, I was just was too worried about Rex to pursue it.”

He smiled faintly. “At least be honest, Ahsoka. You were too _scared_. You saw what I was, what I’d become, and it frightened you.”

“Maybe,” she conceded, “but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t see you were hurting. You walked away from that planet more embittered and angry than I’d ever seen any clone, Fives. I could see that the relationship between you and Rex changed but he wouldn’t tell me why. What really happened down there? What was Rex trying to protect me from?”

“Me, most likely,” he smiled faintly.

“You’re _not_ that scary.”

“Shows what you know.” Undoing his own harness, he settled more comfortably into the seat. “Let it go, Ahsoka.”

“I can’t. I meant what I said ten months ago, Fives. I can’t read you. I can feel you in the Force, I know you’re guarded but I don’t know if that pose is a way of trying to get me to back off, or if you really want me to. I don’t know if this is like where Rex pushed back against me so that I’d push him to talk. I don’t… I know you but I don’t _know_ you.”

“You might not like what you find,” he cautioned her seriously.

“Isn’t that for me to decide?” Ahsoka shook her head. “We’ve been together for almost a year on this ship, running and hiding all across the galaxy. Don’t you think it’s time, Fives?”

He thought it was time for a lot of things but he wasn’t going to admit to _that_. “Time for what?”

“For _you_ to stop hiding?”

“You got a taste of me the real me back in the cantina, Ahsoka. You didn’t exactly jump at it.”

“I’m sorry.”

Fives stared at her for a moment and cocked his head suspiciously. “Are you apologizing for reacting badly or reacting at all?”

“I’m apologizing for not having seen it coming,” her correction was accompanied with a half shrug. “I’ve always known ARC troopers went through different training, I just didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t expecting you to snap Jax’s neck.”

He wasn’t about to tell her that being an ARC trooper had nothing to do with it; it was a part of all clones basic training. “It wasn’t planned.”

“That’s what I mean. You didn’t think twice about it and it never occurred to me as an option. If I knew you better, both would have crossed my mind and I wouldn’t have… caused a scene.”

“ _You_ caused a scene?” He couldn’t help it - he tossed back his head for a shout of laughter. This discussion was so ridiculous he didn’t know where to start quantifying how. “Hissing at me while glaring is hardly a scene, Ahsoka,” his grin was unrepentant, darkly amused despite the context, “now if you’d jumped away from the table screaming at me, _that_ would have been a scene.”

“Yes, because I _regularly_ jump away from violence screaming at the top of my lungs.” Her wry tone made him laugh again, and this time she smiled faintly. “I’m serious Fives. Before Umbara you were different. Losing Echo affected you deeply, but you never lost your sense of humor. After Umbara, it was as if… as…”

His smile died as he studied her, studying him... and came to a decision. “As if I grew up.”

“Decking Rex is the mess isn’t exactly grown up.”

“He deserved it.”

“Why, Fives? Tell me what happened. Not the glossed over version I got from Rex. Tell me what _really_ happened.”

So he did.


	7. Part Seven

Fives told her about his orders coming through, having been specifically requested for the assignment by General Skywalker; about being excited to work with Rex and Torrent Company again. About the general feeling of homecoming that had encompassed him when he’d returned.

He told her about asking Rex after her, which made her smile, because it was an admission that he’d been looking forward to seeing her too. Rex’s reply had been mysterious at the time, simply saying that she’d earned herself a mission.

Ahsoka didn’t interrupt to tell him where she’d been, or interject an explanation into the pause meant to give her that opening, so Fives continued. He told her everything as she sat there watching him, not pulling his punches.

He spoke of the brothers he’d lost, of his faith in Rex being shaken, splintered and finally shattered.

Fives was honest. Disagreeing with Rex’s inability to decide for himself and go against Krell when they’d been ordered on the march where he’d taken Jesse and Hardcase and taken the attack to space. It had cost them Hardcase, and he told her, his voice hushed, of his brother’s sacrifice, gratified to see both pride and sorrow in her eyes.

His voice roughened as he described landing after Hardcase’s death only to be taken before Krell. “It was one extreme to the other,” he admitted. “Shared grief to utter disbelief. I knew Krell wouldn’t be happy and that he would need to make an example of us. Rex, to his credit, tried to take the blame as our commanding officer. I think I goaded Krell too far and he refused, ordering Jesse and I to the brig until our court-martials.”

Exhaling, he leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and mimicking her posture, their hands almost touching but not. Staring at his hands and then hers, examining her nails, the skin on the inside of his elbows ached with memory as he hesitated. Despite having been able to sit through his recounting until now, things were about to get dicey and he wasn’t certain, despite her assurances, she could handle it.

“And then Rex went to Krell and asked him to reconsider the court martial and instead he ordered your immediate executions.”

His gaze snapped to hers. “How-”

“From Rex, Fives. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this story. This is just the first time from your point of view.”

He nodded sharply and straightened in his chair. “Rex’s… _request_ to Krell had the opposite effect he wanted. Instead of getting us released, Krell decided it was better to make an example of us. To execute us.”

“Did Rex ever tell you why?”

“When he came to get us, all he said was that Krell had the authority to render punishment during combat.” Regarding her shrewdly for a moment he guessed at why she’d asked the question. “He told you something different.”

“You were ordered executed because Krell saw you and Jesse as a threat. You couldn’t - _wouldn’t -_ submit to his authority and were dangerous because you might sway others to follow your lead.” She paused to let it sink in. “ _That_ is why Krell wanted you gone, Fives. Because you could think for yourself, because you saw him for what he was and what he was doing and were trying to convince Rex go against him - and succeeding.”

“Some conviction. He wasn’t going to do anything, Ahsoka. He looked at us in that cell and I saw everything he wanted to do, everything he _should_ have done and everything he was _going_ to do. Our death was in his eyes, his posture and in his expression. He was a good soldier with orders he didn’t agree with and had no desire to follow but would anyway.”

Ahsoka was quiet in the face of his disgust and Fives decided to go for broke. He’d come this far, she might as well know the rest.

“Dogma was appointed to lead the execution squad, _fekked_ if I know why, and you know who he chose? Men who knew us better than anyone. Kix was on that squad, the new kid Tup,” Fives shook his head, “and Rex let Dogma do it. He let Dogma make the order, he couldn’t even _watch_ when they went to kill us, did you know that? Rex was going to stand there, like a good soldier, and let _our brothers_ kill me and Jesse all because he couldn’t separate being a good soldier from being a good man.”

There was a pregnant pause as Fived stopped, watching Ahsoka, waiting for an outburst which never came. A few seconds stretched into half a minute and, when there was no reaction to his comment and none that appeared to be forthcoming, he continued.

“When it was obvious that my mentor, my friend, my _hero, Captain_ _Rex_ was just going to stand there and let things happen, I had to say something.” He well remembered the frustration and desperation of those moments, thinking his _brothers_ were going to execute him for saving their lives; the unfairness of the situation, the whole _campaign_ with Krell in charge of it. Of brother turning against brother as they were unwilling to stand up when it mattered for fear of breaking rank and file.

If General Skywalker had been in charge, none of it would have happened. Fives would have blithely gone on believing Rex to be more than he’d been.

“Fortunately it worked and the squad deliberately missed. Rex had us sent us back to the brig where we sat until after the fight that killed Waxer.” One hand clenched and briefly, ever so briefly, he recounted the confrontation with Krell and the subsequent chase through the wilderness before the Jedi had been brought to heel. “Know the worst thing?”

Ahsoka shook her head. Her eyes were glassy but somehow Fives knew the tears weren’t for Rex this time.

“After everything that happened, after all we went through, when it came time to execute Krell, Rex couldn’t do it,” he laughed shortly, once, mirthlessly. “He stood there, played the part but it was _Dogma_.” Fives shook his head, “Dogma, our _prisoner_ , took one of my blasters and pulled the trigger because Rex couldn’t go against his ingrained training and programmed _respect_ for Jedi. After everything Krell had done to us, done to _Rex_ \- blatantly _using_ him to control the men, to control _me_ , and he couldn’t pull the _fekking_ trigger.”

“Is that why you hit him - later in the mess hall?”

“Partly,” Fives conceded. “In the moment I buried my resentment, I put aside what I was feeling for the good of the mission, but when we got back...”

“You had time to think,” her words were slightly husky. “And I didn’t help things. Why’d you lie to me about understanding why Rex was going to have you executed?”

“I didn’t,” he lifted one hand to rub the bridge of his nose. “I _do_ understand. Or rather, I did.”

“Fives-”

“Rex failed to protect Jesse and I, Ahsoka. Men he had served with through campaign after campaign. Men who had fought with him side by side, watched his back and saved his life! He broke the faith, the _code_ we were taught as cadets. _Vode An._ ”

“Brothers all.”

Their eyes locked as she translated the code with him, his hand lowering slowly as he stared at her.

“And _that’s_ why you hit him, isn’t it? Because he broke the faith, broke _your_ faith in him.”

“He should never have let it go as far as it did with Krell. Our space mission should have been a sanctioned mission and Rex knew it. So many brothers would be alive today if he’d simply taken a stand against Krell and his orders.”

“And if Krell had killed him for that stance? What then, Fives? Rex was walking a thin line with the General and he knew it.”

“I _knew_ you wouldn’t understand.”

Her hand lashed out to close about his bicep as he rose to his feet, drawing her with him and he frowned at her, glaring at the hand restraining him.

“I understand perfectly,” she countered, not letting him speak, “Rex was your hero. He was the first Officer who made an impact on you. I _get_ that; what’s more, I _share_ it. But I don’t agree that he should have gone against Krell simply for you. As the ranking officer after Krell, he was responsible for hundreds of brothers. Rex had to look at a bigger picture.”

“The bigger picture was Krell’s intention to see us all dead!”

“The bigger picture was more than just _you_ , Fives.” Her tone was harder than he’d heard it since before Rex’s death. “Rex had to worry about hundreds of troopers on Umbara, not just you. If he’d given in and stood up against Krell, if he’d sacrificed himself for the ideal, what would have happened to the men? To _you_? You would have gone against Krell’s orders anyway and then where would you be, Fives? You’d be dead, that’s where, because Krell would have _made sure_ there was someone in command who would follow his orders without hesitation and all of you would have been lost!”

He marveled at how she could speak so passionately without raising her voice.

“You’re right,” she continued, “Rex _was_ wrong not to step in and stop the execution detail. If he was here to listen, I’d give him a piece of my mind for ever considering it, let alone letting it happen. He wasn’t perfect. I know that. He made mistakes. I know that too. He didn’t just make mistakes on Umbara, he made colossal ones - but you have to let it _go_ , Fives. We can’t change it, no matter how much we might wish otherwise.”

“He was going to let them kill me!”

“I know,” it visibly pained her to say it. “But they didn’t. They _didn’t_. You’re here and he’s not,” Ahsoka swallowed hard. “I can’t lose you too.”

Searching her gaze, Fives wasn’t exactly certain what he was looking for and was a little taken aback by what he _did_ find. Fear. For _him_. “Ahsoka-”

“You’ve been with me through all of this Fives. If it weren’t for you, I’d have been dead a long time ago. I wouldn’t have been able to go on. I would have died trying to reach Rex and his sacrifice would have been for nothing.”

He carefully covered her hand with his own where it still gripped his arm but couldn’t find the words. After everything she’d just heard…. He squeezed her fingers, hoping that somehow she’d understand everything he couldn’t say. Everything he didn’t dare voice.

Ahsoka squeezed back and, to his surprise, offered him a smile and then stepped close. Lifting his hand away, she stepped into his arms as she slid hers around his waist. 

With no hesitation, he folded her close. Holding her was a bad idea but, in the light of their conversation, it was the most natural thing in the world.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Reaching Kiros, Fives watched from the corner of his eye as Ahsoka put them back into real space, having traded chairs with her. She was the better pilot and knew the people. If anything went wrong, he wanted her at the helm. He couldn’t help but admire the confidence of her movements and the way her hands seemed to caress the controls, light but sure as a lover’s-

“Anything on the sensors?”

His gaze darted from her hands to the display in question and he shook his head. “Nothing but a communication’s satellite. Is Kiros space capable?” 

“They’re a colony from Shilli,” Ahsoka informed him with a faint smile as she confirmed his readings. “But mostly they’re artisans; a branch of my people who eschew violence and search for beauty through expression.” 

Fives arched his eyebrows. “And you didn’t think to mention this before now? What happens if we’re discovered?” 

“We run,” her smile was amused. “Relax, Fives. We’ll fit right in here.” 

“Imperial agents could be anywhere. It’s been almost a year since the Republic fell. Don’t you think _someone_ would have thought you might come here to blend in?” 

“After everything that’s happened, absolutely,” she agreed subdued. “But, as you pointed out, it’s been almost a year. If I was going to show up here, don’t you think I’d have done it by now?” 

“That doesn’t mean they didn’t leave a spy behind, Ahsoka.” 

“That doesn’t mean they did,” she countered. “The colony we’re going to is very tight knit. A stranger would be noticed. Besides, after the Separatists sold them into slavery and we rescued them, they owe me one.”

“Gratitude can quickly turn to avarice,” seeing he couldn’t dissuade her, he offered those last words of caution and turned to business. “Should we hail them?”

 “Not on the open channel,” she reached over, as far as her crash webbing would go, and even then used the Force to toggle one of the switches to his right. Flashing him a look, she cued the comm. and began to speak - in Togrutan.

The sound ran through his body like her nails had down his spine, both exotic and unexpected. He listened to the lilt with the drawn out vowels and hard consonants and, at that moment, decided she needed to teach him. Togrutan was a language he _needed_ to learn. 

There were a couple of tense moments on his end before he saw her grin, shake her head and say something else that made the communication’s officer on the other end, laugh. He relaxed with the sound as Ahsoka flipped off the comm. unit and took the controls. “We’re cleared for landing.” 

“The controller’s not the only one who could use a good laugh,” he prompted. “Care to share?” 

“Er…” she shot him an apologetic look. “It doesn’t really translate into basic.” 

Turning to his station, he flashed her a smile. “I guess you’ll just have to teach me to speak Togrutan.” 

"If you want to learn..." her response was almost cheeky. 

"I would gladly learn anything you're willing to teach me," he teased. 

"Careful about making blanket statements like that, Fives. You never know who might take you up on one." 

_Hopefully someday_ , he responded silently as she adjusted their course and sent them into the atmosphere, _it'll be someone like you._

* * *

 Landing on Kiros was as uneventful as Ahsoka promised, with Togrutan security meeting them with enthusiasm at the landing pad. Fives was instructed to leave his arsenal on the ship, restricted to a knife in his boot and a single hold out blaster on his hip. For Ahsoka’s sake, he complied.

The general feel of the city was surprising and unexpected. Normally, when they landed, Fives found himself to be on edge, looking for the inevitable knife in the back. Kiros had none of those feelings. He felt… safe, almost as if the war hadn’t reached these people even though he could see the evidence that it had. 

As a non-space faring group, the Empire appeared to have little interest in the colony of artisans just yet. Fives privately believed, after everything they’d seen, that it wouldn’t last for long. For now, however, the peace and prosperity in the air, the general feeling of well-being that was decidedly lacking on other planets, was as abhorrent as it was relaxing. 

It put him on edge. 

After being on the run for so long, it was just unnatural to feel so relaxed… or maybe it was just him and how he’d been engineered. Whatever the reason, Fives found he was loathe to be separated from Ahsoka. When she told him, barely minutes after landing that she would be leaving him to pay her respects to the Prime Minster, he protested. 

“It could be a trap, Ahsoka.” 

“A trap, Fives?” she shook her head. “These are my people. They’d never do anything to harm me.” 

“And me?” 

She smiled faintly. “You’ll be a novelty. Just think, the only human man among a few thousand Togrutans, half of them women.” He couldn’t tell if it was a jab at his penchant to find women to be with whenever they landed or a teasing remark as she continued. “You don’t seem all that picky with the company you keep and you’re bound to find a distraction here. Perhaps someone fascinated by an alien to talk your ear off?” 

A tease then. She must not be aware of how he really spent his time with the females he found.  “I’m sure I can find something or someone to occupy my time. How long are we staying?” 

“At least overnight. Anything less would be considered rude.” 

A full cycle. “And this meeting - will you be long?” 

Ahsoka paused, drawing their escort to a halt, and looked at him curiously. “You’re _safe_ here, Fives. I promise. You don’t have to worry about protecting me. They won’t hurt me or you.” 

“You said that about Jax.” 

“And I was wrong,” she agreed. “But these are my people. Can’t you feel it? There’s a difference here - we really _are_ safe.” 

“I don’t like it.” 

“You don’t have to like it, just accept it. I have to do this alone. It would be against custom, not to mention totally inappropriate, to bring you to this meeting.” 

Out of his league and with no knowledge of her people’s customs, Fives crossed his arms over his chest. “And what am I supposed to do while you’re gone for who knows how long?” 

“The cantina’s a dance hall too, I’m sure you can think of something.” His eyes narrowed on her as she walked away with the escort, tossing back over her shoulder. “I’ll meet you there when I’m done. Get us rooms, would you?” 

Muttering under his breath about stubborn females, he savagely wondered what Ahsoka would think if she realized just _what_ he was doing with the females she so blithely disregarded. Would she care? Would she be shocked to know she’d been an exception, the _only_ exception in his history, where he’d made love to a woman and not for his own gratification? 

Suddenly in a foul mood, he turned towards the Togrutan left with him and arched his eyebrows. With a silent dip of his head, his escort moved, taking him down another series of streets until they reached one of the biggest buildings in the main plaza. Balconies and an open air design proclaimed it in basic, and what he presumed to be the native tongue, as the _Last Chance_ .

Even that didn’t lift his spirits as he thanked the guide with a nod and was left to his own devices. Fives stood outside, waiting for his guide to disappear before noting the location of the cantina and dance hall, and turned his back on it. 

He was no one’s errand boy. 

Ahsoka might trust these people, but he didn’t and he intended to ensure that they were as safe here as she seemed to believe. To work off a little steam, it wouldn’t hurt to do a little recon and map out the quickest ways back to the shuttle and the main areas of interest. Without casting another look at the cantina, he set out to map the village and surrounding areas, confident it would keep him occupied until Ahsoka was done with her meeting. 

Maybe then they could leave instead of staying in a place where the feeling of peace was incongruous with the rest of the Galaxy 

* * *

Several hours later, Fives was forced to admit that what he’d seen on Kiros was exactly as Ahsoka had described. The people were friendly and open and, worse, knew he was Ahsoka’s associate. They were helpful to a fault and, worse, _genuine_ in their desires to help. 

He’d plotted contingency routes, but now doubted they’d need them. Kiros was everything the rest of the Republic was not. 

Going back to the _Last Chance_ , Fives stepped inside, only in a marginally better mood then when he’d first seen the place. A quick look showed him a half dozen entrances, several booths and a bar on one side with the stage at the other. Several Togrutan females were currently on stage but he paid them no mind as he assessed the situation. He noted the odd looks he received as he did so, nodding to the other patrons. 

As the only human, he should have felt out of place but something about this whole colony was welcoming and open, lending itself to a feeling of general acceptance. He rolled his shoulders and headed for the bar, nodding to the female behind it and offering her a smile though was in no mood to do so. 

“Greetings stranger,” she offered by way of greeting, her smile open, “what brings you to the _Last Chance_?” 

“A friend and I need rooms for at least a night,” he glanced at his chrono, noting that Ahsoka had been gone for almost five hours now, trying to stamp down on the _need_ to ensure she was fine and the irritation that she’d been out of touch for so long. He flashed the barkeep a charming smile. “I was told you were the person to see.” 

“That I am. You said…” 

“Two rooms,” Fives held up two fingers and slid a credit chit across the table. “Ahoska will be joining me later.” 

“Ahsoka. Ahsoka Tano?” 

He nodded. 

“ _The_ Ahsoka Tano? You’re friends with the savior of our colony?” 

He shifted a little, unnerved with the sudden shift of attention and conversation direction. He’d thought word would have reached here by now. Still, there was no reason to lie. She would get the information from someone. That didn’t stop his hand from drifting towards the blaster on his belt as he answered. “Yes.” 

“Then your credit chits are no good here,” she told him with a nod, sliding it back towards him and collecting two room cards from beneath the bar. “Here. Best rooms in the house.”

Fives arched his eyebrows, not really having expected that reaction. “I can pay you for-” 

“Take credits from the friend of our hero? Never!” 

The barkeep sounded so appalled that Fives lifted his hands in surrender and grinned. “Then I’ll just say thank you.” 

“My pleasure. What’s your drink of choice, friend?” 

“Fives,” he corrected, sliding onto one of the stools. “And whatever’s local is fine.” 

She served him up and then was almost immediately called away, leaving him to taste the fruity beverage with a harsh bite. Rough, but good. He turned, glancing towards the stage and the undulating women there, letting his gaze linger on thrusting hips and heaving bosoms. He watched until the dancers changed before scanning the rest of the room, noting the many patrons seated in various places, offering nods to those who met his gaze. 

Such a strange place. 

“You are one of them, are you not?” 

Fives glanced at the speaker before doing a double take. The Togrutan female before him had been the one on stage when he’d come in. She could have been Ahsoka - or her older sister - with the same skin tone and similar facial markings it was eerie. She was the same height, montrals only slightly longer and more curvaceous, her lekku hanging down to frame the breasts on ample display in the tight, stylish top. 

_Fek!_ For all he found it to be strange, he suddenly loved this place. Lots of eye candy. 

His gaze refocused on the female’s, finding the blue of her eyes a touch off, too purple for his taste, but the similarity to his traveling companion was uncanny. Put her in Ahsoka’s clothing, deck her out like a Jedi, and she’d pass for Ahsoka in a heartbeat. 

Until she opened her mouth. 

It was probably a good thing Ahsoka didn’t sound like that. Smoky, drawn out seductively accented tones caressing him every day would have worn away his willpower long ago. Still, looking at the female before him, Fives, to his chagrin, found he wasn’t immune to the fantasy of the interest in her violet orbs. 

His mood shifted, sharpening, sending Ahsoka silently to hell in the back of his mind. She’d wanted him to be occupied and this female was giving him a look he couldn’t misinterpret. “One of whom?” 

“One of the soldiers. The clones.” 

“Have a thing against clones, _ik’aad_?” 

“On the contrary,” she eased closer, a clear predatory interest and suggestion in her eyes that spoke to him on a primal level. “I find you… fascinating.” 

Fives refused to be prey. 

Rising to his feet, he forced her to straighten, to tilt her head back a little to look up at him, just on the edges of her personal space. With a confident, cocky smile, he leaned in with an aggressively suggestive move, brushing his chest against hers. “Is that so?” 

She made a low sound of approval in the back of her throat. “That is. I am Sha’kara.” 

“Fives.” 

Her brow lifted and claw-like fingernails touched his stomach just above his belt before dragging upwards. “Fives of what?” 

He smirked. Easing closer, he ducked his head a little as his voice dropped to a seductive purr but retained its edge, already slipping into the fantasy to having Ahsoka in his arms just one more time even if it wasn’t _her_. “Care to find out?”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Leaving the residence of the minister as the sun was starting to set, Ahsoka looked around the flourishing colony with a critical eye. _Rex would have been proud_ , she reflected with a sense of bittersweet acceptance.

After nearly a year without him, part of her still felt bereft. He’d been at her side for years. He’d been her closest friend, un-judging confidante and sounding board. He’d been everything to her and more, holding her heart and completing her in ways that went beyond any physical manifestation. He’d been integral in her development as both a person and a Jedi. It was only natural she’d continue to think about and miss him; especially since she’d always love him, even if it had been a love largely unrealized beyond platonic theory.

Or so the minister had told her.

She wondered if it was true.

In the beginning she’d felt his absence so acutely, it was as if she’d been missing a limb.  _Everything_ new had been an experience, good or bad, to share with him followed by the crushing knowledge that he was no longer there.

Her dreams had been a mixture of pleasure and pain, of love and loss, often starting with Rex making love to her and ending with his death. Many a night she’d woken up gasping, in tears, reaching for a man who wasn’t there to hold her. She’d considered turning to Fives but dismissed it.

He’d done enough.

Days had turned into weeks and then weeks into months, and the acute pain within her had begun to dull into an ache, easing as she came to the conclusion there had been nothing she could have done to save Rex. If she’d been faster, more aware, not reeling from the betrayal of the clones and the impact of so many Jedi lost at once…

Shaking away the thoughts, Ahsoka headed for the cantina.

Eleven and a half months and she still missed Rex, but it was no longer the crippling agony it had been. A large part of that, she was big enough to acknowledge, was due to the man who’d saved her. Fives had carried her from the _Resolute_. He’d given her the… _tools_ necessary to survive, had taken care of everything until she’d been ready, been _capable_ of pulling her own weight.

The why of it was in Rex's final words, but Ahsoka also knew that Fives considered her a friend in her own right. Perhaps, initially, he'd cared for her because of Rex's dying request, but now... now they'd reached an understanding. Somehow, in missing Rex, Fives had become an integral part of her life. Friend and confidante, he'd slipped into the void in her life that Rex had left.

Not completely, for she certainly wasn’t _in_ _love_ with Fives or think of him as anything more than what he was, but he'd become closer, dearer to her than anyone else. She'd come to rely on him so completely, there were times where she expected to turn and just see him, her living shadow. Not having him tail her was a bit of a novel concept. But then, he'd only let her go because these were her people. People who'd _insisted_ the minister wanted to speak with her alone and that it would have been rude for him to intrude.

Fives hadn't been easily convinced but he trusted her and so off she'd gone, promising to meet him at the largest of the local cantinas when she was done. He was probably, she reflected, pretty steamed with her still for sending him off like that.

Unlike Rex, Fives was a man controlled by a will and backbone of durasteel over a volatile emotional core instead of logic. He tended to hold a grudge and she was fairly certain she’d here of her comment later. Or sooner since she was on her way to meet him now.

Approaching _Last Chance_ as the sun touched the horizon, bathing the world in a soft kind of golden glow, Ahsoka cast a look around. The color was fitting for the area and the general feel of Kiros, peace in a galaxy where there was none. She knew it couldn’t last, it never did, but while they had the treasure, they were making the most of it. Taking in the sights and smiling to those who saw her, Ahsoka was once again astounded by the respect these people accorded her for having done her job.

Stepping into the cantina and dance hall, she cast a look around for Fives. He should have been easy to spot. Be it because Togruta would flock to him as a curiosity, or because he would be the only human in the place didn’t really matter. What _did_ matter was that she didn’t see him.

Ahsoka checked in with the lady at the desk, smiling and shaking her head when she was once again claimed the savior of the Kirosian colony. Inquiring about Fives, she was given the two room numbers and a key for the one Fives wasn't in.

Taking it, and the drink the other female offered, Ahsoka raised her glass and was suddenly surround again. She was obligated to toast several times before pulling away with a sheepish laugh, worried she hadn't seen Fives yet.

Taking her leave and promising to return once she'd checked on her room, Ahsoka headed in that direction on the word of one of the dancers that he'd last been seen going that way.

Checking her room, and then picking the lock on his, Ahsoka felt the first inklings of unease. Kiros was safe. Supposedly. That she hadn’t found him yet was enough to worry her; to put her on her guard, suddenly wary as she stretched out for some kind of danger sense.

She found… nothing.

No. She frowned. Not nothing, but an anomaly in Fives’ Force signature. It hadn’t been there before they’d landed or even after they’d landed and she was savvy enough not to trust it.

“Fives?”

She called his name, even though she could sense he wasn’t in the immediate area, but further down the hall. Following the lure that was the strength of his signature, she traveled the corridor, coming to a junction before turning left with certainty and taking a half flight of stairs down to a room on a small landing.

"Fives?"

Concerned at the aggressive spike in his Force signature, underlain with something she couldn't quite place which left her reeling, Ahsoka touched the door to the room where she could sense his Force signature. Worried, she pressed on the panel, her hand dropping to the blaster at her hip. "Fiv- _oh_!"

Her sudden exclamation was lost in the sound of bodies hitting the wall as Fives and a Togrutan crashed into it. The length of one naked sienna leg hooked around his hip, the Togruta's feral snarl setting alarm bells off, Ahsoka reeled from the violence and undercurrent between them, trying to shake it off. 

As she watched, Fives gripped the female's hands, pinning them to the wall, his head wedging itself under chin with a growl as his body undulated sharply. Two of the female’s three montrals tilted backwards as she rolled with him, her body arched sharply, the leg at Fives' hip curling inwards, closer.

It registered in her brain belatedly that one of the women's montrals was her foot and Ahsoka was suddenly awash in the sea of lust she could now identify as a flash of Fives's bare backside, under his loosened pants, caught her gaze.

_I should leave._

The thought was immediate, yet even as she acknowledged it, Ahsoka found herself rooted to the spot. 

Fives' expression was clearly visible; the unfairly rich lashed half-moons of his eyelids against his cheeks. His goatee scraped against the Togruta's neck, making Ahsoka shiver her eyes widening in shock and dismay as the female seemed to shift before her eyes, giving way to Fives, and let out a cry as he bit her.

_He_ _did that to me first._

Sensations and images flooded Ahsoka's memory, corresponding to what she was watching and, belatedly, she withdrew from the room, pressing her back against the wall with a gasp. Waves of lust and desire and triumphant arrogance washed over her, overwhelming her senses, her fingers curling tightly into fists as she struggled to block out the intertwined emotions of the two in the next room.

There was a quick slapping noise, followed by a keen and then a hoarse cry and Ahsoka didn't wait to hear or feel anymore. 

She fled.

* * *

_Ahsoka arched her back as he held her down, feeling his weight, the tightness of his skin against hers as she slid her hands up his arms to grasp at the elbows, pleading silently for what she knew he could give her. His lips touched the corner of her mouth, his chin brushing hers, his goatee coarse against her skin._

_Goatee? Rex didn't-_

_Her eyes fluttered open as his hand touched her, parting her legs, her knees lifting and dragging her foot along one muscular thigh as he settled intimately against her. Blazing honey-brown eyes bore down into hers, the severe line of his brow creased with concentration, the tattoo on his right temple a stark compliment to his skin, pulsing with the speed of his heartbeat._

_He growled, barring his teeth as he reached down and, with both hands on her hips, tilted them backwards on a downward angle that had her back arching off the bed as he thrust forward. His eyes closed, lashes stark against his cheeks as he began to move. Powerfully, singularly purposeful, he pinned her to the bed with his body and dominated hers._

_Ahsoka moaned, feeling the tension building, the delicious burning in her middle climbing with each stroke of his body within hers._

_"Fives!" his name slipped passed her lips as he changed the angle of penetration, the sudden shift as he lifted her to the wall, using his strength to drive her down even as he lifted her. "Fives!"_

_His actions were deliberate, almost predatory, his face wedging between her lekku and her neck, forcing it backwards as his teeth sank into her flesh._

Ahsoka shot bolt upright gasping, one hand clutching her chest, the other tangled in her sheets.

His image was powerfully, undeniably vivid and it took a moment for it to fade. As soon as it did she squeezed her eyes shut, falling back to her pillow with a groan that was part frustration part disbelief.

What was Fives doing in her dreams when she’d always dreamed about Rex?

The answer sprang to mind with the memory of Fives and the Togrutan dancer pinned against his wall in frantic, lustful copulation. With a groan, Ahsoka rolled over and away, pushing up on one elbow to check the chrono across the room. Almost mid-

The sound of a something hitting the wall behind her made her jump before a hard rhythm of soft, almost measured thuds could be heard. After that afternoon, and now the erotic dream, Ahsoka had no problem imagining just what Fives was doing on the other side of that wall.

_Does he ever stop?_

He and the dancer had been in his room since just after the dinner hour and hadn't come up for air. To her chagrin, Ahsoka found herself listening for the grunt that was his voice, able to see the woman against the wall in her mind's eye, Fives pinning her there to take at his whim.

A flush spread through her body, residual heat from the dream, she told herself even as curiosity and desire warred within her breast. He hadn't caught her the first time, perhaps... one little peak wouldn’t hurt, right?

_No!_ She closed her eyes with a moan. She wouldn’t look. _Fives has a right to his privacy. I shouldn’t have looked - even if they were inside a closet with the door unlocked._

If she was dreaming about him, well it was only natural after seeing what she’d inadvertently walked in on, right? That she normally dreamed about Rex, well it was to be expected that she’d think of Fives when he was drilling her look-alike in the next room.

Rolling over, she closed her eyes and struggled to put the noise from her thoughts, well able to still hear the vibrations echoing through her sensitive montrals and trying to think of something, _anything_ else.

Grabbing her pillow, she pulled it over her head and squeezed her eyes tightly shut, picturing Rex in her mind’s eye. He was easy to envision with his closely cropped blonde hair over expressive amber eyes and quirky way of smiling but not. Ahsoka wasn’t sure that she’d ever seen Rex actually smile more than a handful of times. He was more prone to half smiles, going with his disposition.

She smiled sadly, sighing as she was caught up in her memories. _Rex_. She missed him. Fiercely. Not quite as fiercely as she had in the beginning, but she still felt his absence in her life. There were still times where she turned, expecting to see him, only to be disappointed. Times where she was eager to share something with him, elated even, only to be crushed moments later with the realization he was gone.

Fives had tried to-

That train of thought came to an abrupt halt as Rex’s image morphed into that of the former ARC trooper’s, complete with his cocky smile, and she exhaled. The idea was to banish him from her mind, not keep bringing him back.

Fives, however, didn’t seem inclined to stay out of her head and the activities next door weren’t helping the image that kept appearing in her mind’s eye. Images that were coupled with the knowledge that Fives had been the one to grant her request months ago so she _knew_ , no matter how much she pretended or told herself otherwise, exactly what the dancer was being subjected to.

Throwing back her covers, she grabbed her robe and headed for her door, determined to ask for a room that wasn’t right next to his if she could. She couldn’t sleep like this. Hopefully the proprietor would be able to help her, otherwise, Ahsoka wasn’t sure she’d be able to look Fives in the eye any time soon. If she couldn’t, he’d know something was up and that, she decided as she left the darkened room behind, wasn’t something she was looking forward to.

* * *

The proprietor had been very apologetic, but unable to assist her, resulting in Ahsoka spending the next couple of nights in the room next to Fives and getting practically no sleep as a result.

Since accidentally walking in on Fives and the dancer, the images had been replaying themselves in her mind at the strangest moments.

When they'd emerged after that first time, they’d found her seated quietly in a booth, unable to meet his gaze for fear he would see what she was thinking within it. Fives hadn't noticed anything amiss though, or so it seemed, and Ahsoka had done her best to keep it that way. She’d not brought up his disappearance or the fact the dancer looked almost exactly like _her_. She hadn’t wanted to. It was too much to contemplate when she was just starting to accept the fact that Rex was gone for good.

That hadn't seemed to stop the dreams, or the jealousy, both of which had caught her off guard.

Off guard enough that, one morning three days later, she and Fives were headed towards the spaceport to check on their ship and prep it for departure, a voice calling her name incredulously from behind them had made her spin without thinking. A dangerous reaction for a fugitive, even on as safe a place as Kiros.

_"Ahsoka?!"_

Her eyes widened as the familiar brown haired young man rushed towards her, so shocked to see him she could do little more than stare.

Fives had no such qualms.

He stepped in front of her, arm shooting out as he grabbed the young man by the front of the tunic and lifted him off the ground. "Far enough, little man."

"Let me go!" The indignant voice reverberated around in her head as she stared at him. Outraged and indignant brown eyes turned her way. "Ahsoka! Call off your Clone!"

"Lux."

Fives' gaze slammed back to hers. "You know this di'kut?"

"You can let him go Fives. Lux is...” she considered what to call him for a moment before settling on how she’d always viewed him, even when she’d fancied herself to have a crush on him, “a friend."

"A friend."

Lux tugged at Fives hands at the skeptical question. "That's right. A _friend_. One who didn't expect to find her alive!"

"It’s reassuring to know you have such faith in me," Ahsoka returned dryly, not entirely certain how to feel about Lux's sudden appearance. "Fives? Please?"

With visible reluctance, Fives dropped Lux back to his feet. "Keep your hands where I can see them, kid."

Lux shot Fives a dirty look. "Do you know who I am?"

"Do I look like I care?"

"I'm the Senator from Onderon!"

"You could be the Emperor himself," Fives growled dangerously, "but you'll keep your hands where I can see 'em."

"Fives, it's okay. Lux _is_ a friend. I'm not just saying that. He took me in when I needed a place to go after leaving the order."

******

Staring at Ahsoka, Fives found himself trying to figure out the tone in her voice. It sounded off. Something in the way Ahsoka said it rang alarm bells in the back if his head.

"It's more than that," Fives gaze narrowed.

The sound of the kid’s name gave him the feeling that keeping this Lux as far away from Ahsoka as possible was a good idea. Not just because his back was up, but because there was a memory tied to it. Something that was tied to a discussion with Rex...

Ahsoka seemed to sense his train of thought. "Lux and I have had a bit of a rocky friendship, Fives. He once tried to throw in with the-"

"-Deathwatch."

That was why the name was familiar. His blaster was in hand and pressing against the boy's temple in a heartbeat as the memory sprang to mind. He acted before he considered it, flicking the blaster to kill with a touch of his thumb.

Lux, exhibiting more wisdom than Fives credited him as having, froze.

_"Fives!"_

"Considering his history of bringing you trouble, Ahsoka, we should get off this planet as soon as possible."

"Lux isn't-"

"He's a threat to you, if you see it or not," not to mention Fives didn't appreciate the clench in his gut at the thought of the kid putting his hands on her. Ahsoka, on some level, was _his_ and he wasn't about to let some upstart try and change that. "He's seen you're alive and, because he's your friend, he'll remain that way. But we’re leaving. _Now_."

"But-"

Fives grasped the fancy lapels of the kid's jacket in his other hand and shook him like a rag doll when he made to protest. "You don't get a say in this. It's my job to keep her safe. _Mine._ Not yours. I intend to see just that."

"Fives, Lux wouldn't do anything to put me in danger." She hesitated. " _Now_. He wouldn't do anything to put me in danger, _now_."

"Good." Fives lifted the pistol from Lux's temple but didn't holster it as he dropped him back on his feet. "Because if I hear he's uttered a word to anyone about your continued health and well-being, his won't be."

Lux glared at Fives and Fives crossed his arms, keeping the blaster in hand. The kid's eyes dropped to it and he seemed to get the message that the Clone was deadly serious. Particularly so when Fives flashed him the setting indicator, making it impossible to miss that the blaster was _not_ on stun.

When he spoke next, the kid’s eyes lingered on the blaster for a heartbeat before turning to Ahsoka. "I'm glad you're okay, Ahsoka."

"I wouldn't have been if not for Rex and Fives."

"I told you not to visit."

"And I told you there was no way I couldn't," she countered. "Who'd have thought being an ex-Jedi would spark the same kill order as an existing one?"

"I did," Fives interjected. "Once a Jedi, always a Jedi."

"A sentiment your brothers seemed to share," Lux accused. "If she'd just stayed with me-"

"I'd have been safer but not better off."

Lux shot Fives a smug look but Fives ignored it and brought them back to task. "You're happy. He's happy. We're all happy everyone's alive. Say goodbye, Ahsoka," he knew he sounded domineering, but Fives didn't care. As far as he was concerned, Lux wasn't worthy of breathing the same air as Ahsoka, let alone being her friend. "We've a ship to catch."

Ahsoka shot him a look, seemed about to protest and then paused and nodded, throwing an apologetic look Lux's way. "Fives is right. It was good to see you but we have to be going."

"So soon?"

Fives didn't bother to hide his smug smile. It served the kid right. "You heard her."

"Where are you going, maybe I can-"

"Not a chance."

"Fives!"

"If he doesn't know where we're going then he can't give us away if someone should happen to question him."

"Unlike a deserter, I have diplomatic immunity."

"Unlike a trained ARC, you would cave during a Repub-" Fives frowned, catching himself and correcting his thought process, "Empire, during an _Imperial_ interrogation, like a stack of flimsi. I won't take that chance with her life."

"It's her life to take the chance with!"

"I can't tell you, Lux," Ahsoka coming down on his side was vindication and Fives took a half step closer to her. "It's not just me, but Fives is right. You can't tell what you don't know."

"I wouldn't tell anyone!"

"We can't know that," she offered apologetically. "It was good to see you before we disappear."

"I'll see you again, won't I?"

"Probably not." Ahsoka looked at Fives.

Fives shook his head. "Once we find a deep cover, we won't be able to break it. It would be too dangerous. Only if there was no chance of the Empire finding us could such contact be made. On _both_ ends. As a Senator, you won't be able to make that guarantee."

"It's as much for you as for us, Lux. You can't be a Jedi sympathizer or be charged with aiding and abetting a deserter it you don't know."

"But-" the young Senator looked like he'd just been denied his favorite toy. "We're _friends_ , Ahsoka. I'll worry about you."

"Fives and I make a good team. Rex knew what he was doing when he asked Fives to watch my back."

"Rex."

Fives jumped in before Lux could ask the painfully obvious question of where the Captain was. "Rex didn't make it off the ship. He sacrificed himself to give us time to get away. I wasn't going to let anything happen to her then and I'm not about to let anything happen to her now." Fives could feel Ahsoka watching him. "Just as she won't let anything happen to me, I'm sure."

"Goes both ways," she agreed.

"Say your goodbyes, kid," advised Fives, no unaware that he sounded like his dead brother in those moments. "You won't be seeing Ahsoka and I again."

"Ahsoka?"

"Goodbye, Lux. Be safe."

Watching her step in and hug the visibly desolate youth was an uncomfortable experience, but also a gratifying one. It was the one time Lux would see her before never seeing her again. Fives could afford to be generous. Even if seeing the little upstart put his hands on Ahsoka, and her accept it, made him want to brandish his blaster again.

"Come with me, Ahsoka." Lux seemed determined to sway her as he clung to her in a desperate hug, his voice low and imploring. "You're not a Jedi anymore. You don't need to be on the run."

"If I hadn't been turned on by the men I once served with, I might believe you, Lux, but I can't. Fives saved my life. I'm sorry it has to be this way."

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Time's up." Fives broke in, wanting to see him take his hands off Ahsoka as soon as possible. "We can't afford to be late."

Seeming to catch his urgency, if not why, Ahsoka pulled away, gripped both of Lux's hands in hers, smiled briefly and then turned away. She stepped back to Fives and gave him a nod.

“Ahsoka?”

“Goodbye, Lux,” she threw it over her shoulder with a little wave. “Good luck!”

“You too.”

If Lux sounded sad to Fives’ ears, it was the one thing he could understand. Still, Fives turned to fall into step with her, gratified when she made no move to look back.

* * *

Leaving Kiros was done in silence and Ahsoka couldn't help casting covert looks at Fives whenever he was otherwise occupied. Kiros had been good to them both, giving them each a chance to relax a little and tend to much needed personal issues.

Fives, for example, had cut his hair.

It wasn't he standard military issue cut she'd been used to seeing during the war, but one that gave him bangs, covering his tattoo and subtly altering the shape of his face. His time with her dancer look alike seemed to have been well spent for he'd been slightly more relaxed before they'd encountered Lux.

An encounter that had felt like much need closure for her; Lux hadn't wanted her to go back to the Resolute to see her friends, but she hadn't been able to stay away from Rex and Torrent Company. Primarily Rex.

"Did you really go to that spineless wimp for help when you got expelled from the Jedi order?"

Amused, Ahsoka turned a half smile on him. "Where else was I going to go? Who else would have helped me?"

"You're lucky he didn't try to help himself."

"Who says he didn't?"

They were already in orbit, thankfully, for Fives froze, going unnaturally still. With visibly controlled movements, he turned towards her but Ahsoka pretended not to notice, checking their flight path as he stared at her. Her time with Lux wasn’t something she’d had a chance to share with anyone, even Rex, and it was an unknown for her companion.

Being with Lux on Onderon had taught her many things when she’d gone to him broken and lost after leaving the Jedi Order. If she hadn’t been so certain of her feelings for Rex, and overwhelmed with her guilt in leaving him, she might have made other choices. She might have fallen for Lux’s advances and tactics and surrendered a part of herself she wasn’t sure even now he’d have given back. Lux was young and a touch spoiled and being a Senator, prone to thinking he could get and have whatever and whomever he wanted.

When he’d been put up against Rex in her mind’s eye, he’d been decidedly lacking. Rex’s strong sense of duty, self and selflessness compared to Lux’s selfish sense of entitlement hadn’t even left him as a contender for her feelings. Yes, she liked Lux, but seeing him again now, even with Rex out of the picture, Ahsoka had come to the realization that Lux’s neediness, his innocence, simply wasn’t at the same growth rate of her own. For all he was a year older than she was, his experiences hadn’t aged him the way hers had.

Rex might have been physically aged at almost half of her own, but he’d been wise well beyond his years and, after leading men into battle, on par with her own growth. Their shared experiences had lent them a connection only death had severed.

Fives by contrast, was somewhere between Rex and Lux. His sense of duty was tempered with the knowledge that superiors were fallible and he thought on his feet far faster than most Clones. While he had a sense of entitlement like Lux, to a degree, it was more based on the knowledge of his own appeal and skills than what he believed he deserved. Clones, for the most part, were raised and trained to believe they deserved little and, as a result, Fives’ sense of entitlement was more of a novel concept than one that irritated her.

If he was high handed at times where Rex would have been firmly persuasive or Lux cajoling, well that was just one of the things that set him apart. It was one of the things that made her wonder, now that Rex was gone and the Galaxy irrevocably changed, what role he would play in her life. Not to mention what role she _wanted_ him to play.

Fives’ muttered lament drew her from of her reflection.

"I should have shot him when I had the chance."

"I said tried, Fives. Not succeeded." Her smile faded. "You and I both know who was first."

"Yeah," his words were slightly strangled. "Rex."

_No, you di'kut_ , she wanted to say, _it was you!_ Even as she thought it, though, something stopped her, her tongue seemingly suck to the roof of her mouth. He wasn't ready to hear it from her and she... she'd only just begun to accept it herself. Much as she had _wanted_ Rex to be her first, much as she'd wanted him to be her _only_ , he'd died before she'd gotten the chance.

Fives had given her that dream, but that dream, the deception, was no longer necessary for the sake of her sanity.

Rex was gone and Fives was beside her. And she'd been blindsided by the realization of what kind of man, aside from being sexy and smoking hot, Fives was in his own right. And it had little to do with the fact he looked good enough to eat. Under that no nonsense shell of his, there was a generous, caring man who only pretended there wasn't to avoid being hurt.

The encounter with Lux had only reinforced the fact that Fives held grudges and protected those he cared about. And he cared about her. More than he was letting on. Ahsoka knew she wasn't blind, but to have Fives draw down on Lux was more than just telling after having seen him with her dancer look-a-like. If Fives wasn't a little in love with her, she'd foreswear the use of the Force for good!

The question, though, was where that left her.

Rex's death still clung to her like a mynock on an energy cable and Ahsoka found she couldn't shake her guilt of it. On the other hand, she'd also begun to realize just _how_ loyal and devoted Fives had been since carrying her away. He'd followed Rex's orders to get her away safely but he hadn't needed to stay with her. He _could_ have walked away at any point.

He hadn't needed to comfort her and the unfeeling ARC that so many had seen, would have abandoned her if that had been his true personality. Fortunately, he hadn't and Ahsoka was grateful. Without Fives, she'd have fallen to the Jedi hunters long ago. She might not have even made it off the _Resolute_ once the blast door had come down, throwing her life away in an attempt to reach Rex.

She wouldn't have cared then, but she did now. For all she wished Rex hadn't died, for all she wished she hadn't seen him take the killing blow, she knew irrevocably he had. The piece of her that was connected to him, and never should have been, was broken and gone.

In its place, or perhaps beside it to overshadow and mend that hole, Fives' presence had unexpectedly grown. He'd always been special to her as a close friend and someone to rely on, but now he was something more. The problem was, Ahsoka wasn't yet sure what that more represented yet.

Special friend was as good as anything, she supposed, except she considered Lux a special friend too. And she'd _never_ woken to a dream like the one that had woken her last night with regards to Lux. Of course, she hadn't slept with Lux and, as much as she'd convinced herself that it had been Rex with whom she'd shared her body, she knew the truth deep down. Fives had been her first and only lover. And he had loved her - thoroughly.

Her montrals began to tingle, a sure sign they were changing color, and she turned away without being able to find a fitting answer for him beyond a noncommittal, "Yeah."

As she turned, there was no mistaking the quick flash of pain across his expression, quickly buried. "Tell me again why you didn't let me shoot him?"

"When have I ever had to _allow_ you to do anything, Fives?" Her glance was nearly covert as she examined the readout, trying to decide what course was best. "As your Commander, you disobeyed me a lot."

"You were young," he countered.

"I'm older than you are."

"Inexperienced, then."

"I'll give you that one," she agreed, "but you weren't on the front line much longer than I was before Rex and Cody sent you for ARC training."

"So?"

"You earned that, Fives. By being innovative and making your own decisions. You and Echo both did," she finally looked at him again. "Did Rex ever tell you how proud I was of you both?"

His eyebrows shot up.

"I'll take that as a no. I assumed that he had."

"And you didn't tell us yourself because...?"

She looked away sheepishly. "I told Rex. I thought he'd told you so it didn't occur to me that I had to."

"It would have meant a lot to Echo, Ahsoka."

"To Echo? Really?"

"He never said it, but he admired you a lot. Both of us did."

The unspoken 'more than we should have' hung heavy in the silence for a moment before Ahsoka broke it. "So why didn't you shoot Lux, Fives?"

"You called him a friend. Much as I don't like anything I've heard about him, or anything I've seen, no one you call friend can be all bad, right?"

Laughing, she shot him a grin. "If you say so. Where are we going next?"

"It's a surprise," he leaned across her and set new coordinates, his smile back. "Trust me?"

Suddenly feeling it, Ahsoka's rejoined was more serious than she intended. "With my life, Fives."

Fives had no response for her as he sent them hurtling into hyperspace.


	10. Chapter 10

_Five weeks later_

 Ahsoka tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position as the vibrations through the floor plates and walls echoed through her montrals. She knew what came next, had been privy to it on too many worlds to not know it by now. The rhythmic thumping, followed by a short staccato beat only to be finished with a single hard strike which always made her flinch. 

 Tossing her covers back, she pushed to her feet, unable to block out the image in her mind of what Fives and the blonde human he's coerced into his bunk for the night would be doing.

 It had been the same on the last dozen or so worlds they'd stopped on. Fives would head to a nearby cantina after ascertaining that they'd be safe for the night, entice a woman - and he wasn't picky about her race - with his charm and take her back to his room for a good time. He never paid for his companions, he didn't have to, and Ahsoka wondered if the sick feeling in her stomach would have vanished if he had.

 Ahsoka had no doubt Fives took care of his partner's needs the same way he had once satisfied hers.

  _I need to get out of here._ Pushing to her feet, she shrugged into the robe at the edge of her bed and exited her room. Hesitating, as leaving meant she had to go by Fives' door, she squared her shoulders and took a few swift steps, only to freeze when an audible moan sounded through the door.

  _Don't,_ she admonished herself silently, sternly ordering her feet to move.  _Caring about what or who Fives does isn't a part of this deal._

 Saying it to herself didn't seem to matter though. Despite her stern talking to, her body seemed to move of its own accord as the slight slapping sound of skin on skin was heard beyond the portal. Bending, and knowing she shouldn't, she put her eye to the old fashioned lock plate.

 Fives' bare backside was all she could see at first, pale legs wrapped securely about his tanned hips as he drove the girl against the wall. He had one hand across her mouth, his lips at her neck.

 Ahsoka felt her whole body flush, heat running through her veins, equal parts arousal and shame.

_I shouldn't be watching this._

Despite that knowledge, she remained where she was, watching, her body trembling as she remembered being in the human's place. A gasp escaped her lips, quickly muffled by her own hand, and Fives wrenched the woman off the wall, driving her down to the bed. With both hands, he flipped her to her stomach, pulled her back to her knees and -

 Ahsoka nearly fell back from the door, scrambling to get away as she fled back to her room, and closed the door swiftly. Fives and the woman had been too preoccupied to have heard her, but she couldn't get the image of what she'd just seen out of her head. Trembling uncontrollably, she brought both hands together, attempting to stop it.

 Fives had... He'd...

 There was no mistaking the delighted expression on the woman as Fives had wrapped one arm around her chest, the other at his waist, as he'd lifted her up and driven her down before pressing her down to the bed on all fours.

  _I need to forget it_ , Ahsoka told herself as she settled, trembling, on the edge of her bed. She wrapped both hands around the edge but no matter what she held, or for how long, it didn't seem to matter. The trembling in her body, the fire in her blood, wasn't abating.

 So much so that, when she wrapped her arms around a pillow and lay down trying to sleep, all she could think of was Fives and the woman... and hate herself for wishing she'd been in the blonde human’s place.

 

* * *

 

Fives considered Ahsoka the following morning, feeling refreshed after having slept well once the blonde - he'd already forgotten her name - had gone. She'd been a fun distraction for the time he'd held her, until the very end when he'd suddenly pictured Ahsoka in the blonde's place. It had ended their tryst more quickly than intended, but she’d gone away satisfied.

 "You look like you've gone three rounds with a gundark," he told her frankly. "You sleep okay?"

 "No."

 He arched his eyebrows at her venomously blunt response as he slid into the chair across from her at the table in the small tapcaf provided by the lodging station they were staying at. “Something on your mind, ‘Soka?”

 “You could say that.” She stabbed at one of the small meat items she already had on her plate, her eyes narrowed as she brought it to her lips and tore into it with her needle like teeth.

 Fives waited expectantly, but she made no move to continue, simply seethed in silence - very unlike her - and glowered at him as she ate. “Well?”

 For a moment she looked like she wasn’t going to respond as she swallowed and took a sip of her caf. Only as the cup hit the table with a _clink_ , did she finally open her mouth to speak. Her words were low, almost hissed. “Do you have to bring every bimbo you meet back to your room?”

 Blinking, for it wasn’t at all what he’d expected. If Fives was honest with himself, he honestly thought she was going to say something about nightmares and Rex. This was new. “Not _every_ one,” he countered finally. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

 “It is when it keeps me up at night Fives. You guys are _loud_.”

 His eyebrows practically hit his hairline. _“Loud?”_ he deliberately muffled any woman who might be as a courtesy to other patrons. Their enjoyment wasn’t something anyone else needed to hear. “You’ve _got_ to be kidding me.”

 “I’m a Torgruta, Fives.” Ahsoka stabbed another piece of her breakfast and Fives had the unpleasant suspicion she was picturing _him_ under her fork when he made no move to show he understood where she was going with that statement. “I’m sensitive to _vibrations_ , remember? You banging against the walls my bed is next to doesn’t exactly make it easy for me to sleep.”

 So that was it.

 For a second, an ever so brief second, Fives had mistakenly thought she might be _jealous_ of his frequent liaisons. Instead she kicked his ego and reminded him of just how different their physiology was. He hadn’t even considered her sensitivity to vibrations - and he should have. But then, being stuck on the transport, just the two of them, as they moved around from place to place evading Imperial patrols and kill squads, amped his personal tension up in ways he’d never before experienced.

 Being with her but knowing she was beyond his reach... it was enough to drive him to drink. So he did and, when he drank, sex was a natural part of the after evening equation to his way of thinking. He hadn’t given any thoughts to the fact she’d be able to feel the vibrations through the walls.

 Looking at her expression, Fives decided retreat would be wise and excused himself, going to collect caf and breakfast of his own, feeling the sharpness of her displeasure as he crossed the room to the open breakfast bar. As he deliberately took his time selecting what he wanted, he mulled over what he needed to do. An apology undoubtedly but what more, he didn’t know.

 One thing was for certain, he wasn’t about to change his patterns simply because Ahsoka was losing a few hours of sleep.

 

* * *

 

Ahsoka stabbed another piece of sausage with her fork and chewed it vigorously as she watched Fives from across the room, growing even more irritated when he seemed inclined to prolong his time away from her.

 He could have at least apologized for giving her a sleepless night, _especially_ when it wasn’t the first time. All she wanted was an apology, something to show he respected her right to sleep peacefully, but he hadn’t even done that before leaving the table.

 No, the incorrigible man had simply up and left without more than a polite “I’ll be right back” and seemed to be completely callous to the fact he was playing havoc with her sleep schedule.

What was worse was that dreams plagued her when he _didn’t_ have a companion for the night. _That_ made her irritable too. It wouldn’t have been so bad if her dreams had been the mundane kind. Or Force visions. Force visions would have been _fine_ , a relief even. Instead her mind seemed to have focused on her companion in an almost obsessive manner. Not that Fives was unattractive, far from it, but to have her subconscious reminding her in her _sleep_ was a bit much. What’s worse, she didn’t feel she _needed_ the reminder. Fives’ appeal was dangerously constant, barring the fact he seemed to like empty headed females. Ahsoka shook her head in frustration, wondering if his choice in partners had anything to do with the direct correlation between how _little_ was in their heads and how _much_ was in their bras.

 The uncharitable thought took her completely off guard. _Where did_ that _come from?_   Just because Fives preferred his women to be those who seemed to be lacking in any kind of skill beyond their physical attributes didn’t mean-

  _Oh hell._

Ahsoka stared at Fives, her hand going slack around her utensil and nearly dropping it as she realized the _why_. It had been staring her in the face so blatantly she’d missed it entirely.

 Her jealousy over Fives and the various women combined with her unnaturally keen interest in him and his activities coupled with their already close and strong friendship, and Ahsoka knew she was in trouble. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Fives to enjoy himself, or that she didn’t want him to relax when they were on the various planets. Nor was it that she believed Fives needed to report to her or ask her permission.

 What she’d just come to realize was that she didn’t want the dancers to have Fives because, on some level, she felt that Fives belonged to _her_. Jealousy aside, Ahsoka suspected she was getting a taste of what Fives had felt watching her with Lux on Kiros and her thoughts as they’d been leaving the planet returned to her.

 She’d have bet anything Fives was a little in love with her... if she was feeling as he had, now, did that mean she was in love with Fives?

 A sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach told her if she wasn't, she was certainly well on her way along that track. It was a revelation among revelations and the last few weeks had brought many.

 One of them being that she’d stopped dreaming about Rex completely. Another that she’d stopped _looking_ for Rex to tell things to, and was now seeking out Fives when something happened she wanted to share. It was sad to think that she was letting go of Rex. No, not letting him go - he would always be with her on some level - but accepting that he was gone; that he was no longer there for her to speak with and rely on.

 Anyone observing from outside, if they’d been able to see her and Fives, would probably have said she was simply replacing Rex, but Asoka knew better.

 Rex and Fives might have shared a face and a professional sense of duty and honor, but their personalities and personal traits couldn’t have been more night and day if they’d tried. Rex had been one for silences and stillness and Fives was always in motion. Where Rex had been solemn and shy, Fives was as outgoing as an amorous Zeltron and would _never_ be accused of being shy.

 A part of her had died with Rex on the _Resolute_ when he’d taken that final bolt. It had taken months at Fives’ side, with the ARC doing _nothing_ to pressure her about any kind of relationship - despite having slept with her - for Ahsoka to come to terms with it. To come to terms with needing to go on living without Rex. Now that she had, she’d come to accept that she would _always_ miss Rex, but she couldn’t live her life by looking back. More importantly, perhaps _most_ importantly, Rex wouldn’t have wanted her to.

 It had taken her months longer than it should have for that obvious fact to become clear.

 Her gaze turned back to Fives. _Would Rex have approved of Fives and me?_

 If she and Rex hadn’t been so close, and she’d fallen for Fives from the start instead, would Rex have supported her? Considering the question seriously, she came to the only conclusion she could having known him as she had. Rex would have supported her in whatever she’d chosen to do and whomever she’d chosen to be with. He might not have liked it, and she knew _that_ from - among other things - her minor crush on Lux, but he’d have supported her.

  _Rex…_

 She sighed, shaking her head, her anger fading away as she watched Fives from across the room, slowing putting item after item on his plate and visibly taking his time to get back to her. Somehow, over these last months, Fives had come to mean more to her than just another comrade or colleague. He’d grown beyond the mantle of companion and friend without her realizing what was happening.

 Her appetite gone, she placed her fork next to her plate and rubbed both hands over her face, wishing Rex was there beside her so she could ask. The irony of the thought wasn’t lost on her but she was in no mood to be amused. Missing him in that moment had nothing to do with the ache of his absence, but her desire for his council.

  _Rex- what do I do?_

 

* * *

 

 Fives took his time selecting his meal before looking back at his companion, examining Ahsoka’s expression as he collected some cutlery, noting that she seemed less irritated and more pensive. He collected his breakfast and two cups of caf before returning to the table, sliding in across from her.

 “Done tearing my head off?”

 He passed her one of the cups of caf, a veiled peace offering and a gesture he suspected she’d completely miss. That didn’t, he notice, stop her from automatically accepting it. As her hands folded around the cup, she seemed to be in more of a contemplative mood than an aggressive one. The fire appeared to have gone out of her but Fives knew her well enough to know it only appeared dormant. Ahsoka was one of the feistiest people he knew.

 “’Soka?”

 “Hm?” She seemed to refocus on him and then offered him a look. “What?”

 “Thinking of ways to pay me back for all the sleepless nights?”

 Her response wasn’t what he was expecting. She cocked her head at him speculatively. “Shall I pay you back in kind, Fives?”

 “The _hell_ you will!” The words slipped out before he could censor them and, as he realized what he’d just done and potentially given away, he backtracked. “There are _wanted_ posters with your face on them ‘Soka. Putting yourself out there is too dangerous.”

 “I’m not the man who has a million men who look just like him.”

 “It’s easier to hide that way,” he countered, frowning. “You’re not into meaningless anything ‘Soka. I just can’t see you picking some guy up at a cantina to take back to your room.” Not to mention, if she tried, he’d intervene so fast the other guy’s head would spin… or roll. Ahsoka was _his_ to protect. And while he wasn’t adverse to her _eventually_ leaving him, because Fives knew it had to happen sooner or later, he wasn’t about to sit back and let her walk away with someone else just yet. _Especially_ not for some meaningless fling which might destroy her. “It’s not your kind of thing.”

 “True.” Ahsoka grimaced and looked away, taking a sip of her caf. “But, just once, Fives, I’d like to land on a planet where you don’t make it your goal to charm and sleep with the first empty headed, big breasted female you see.”

 “We don’t exactly _do_ a lot of sleeping.”

 She shot him a dirty look. “You know what I mean.”

 He did know what she meant but Fives didn’t see that it was any business of hers. She belonged to Rex and he… he belonged to no one. Or so he kept telling himself. One of these days he might even convince himself of it. “A point of fact,” he tried to keep the tone light, “I _never_ pick the first one I see. I like to think I’m more discerning than that.”

 Ahsoka, to his relief, changed the subject. “When do we leave?”

 Fives stabbed a piece of his sausage and held it up for her inspection. “As soon as I’m done eating.”

 “Then finish up,” she pushed her plate away and stood, taking her caf with her. “At least you don’t bring your playmates back to the ship. The sooner we get back there, the sooner I can get a decent night’s sleep!”

 It shouldn’t have amused him when she took verbal jabs at him, but Fives found himself grinning at her back until she left the room, pausing only to place her now empty mug on a tray. Ahsoka never failed to delight and surprise him and, since Kiros, she’d been doing so on a more frequent basis.

 His smile faded he considered her parting jab. She wanted to go back to the ship because he wouldn’t bring any of his paramours there. He wondered if she’d realized why and then shook his head in denial as he sipped his caf before resuming his breakfast.

 Ahsoka couldn’t know.

 She couldn’t know that lying in the room next to hers was torture as he heard her every whimper and cry, fighting the need to wake her from the nightmares and dreams which enveloped her. She couldn’t know that the vents carried the sounds due to a modification he’d not shown her, nor that he couldn’t bring himself to fix it. Just like she couldn’t know one of the main reasons he was so eager to land on all of these different planets wasn’t so much for the company he would find, but to get a break from _hers_.

 There were times when Fives found himself questioning his self-control as they jumped from system to random system, keeping two steps ahead of the Imperials. Rumors had surfaced of other rogue Clones, but Fives hadn’t had any luck tracking them down. It was both a blessing and a curse.

 His comlink sounded and he pulled it, flicking it on without hesitation. “Miss me already, ‘Soka?”

  _“We’ve got trouble.”_

 Her serious tone had him on his feet before the last word came from the small speaker. “Where are you?”

  _“At the end of the hall to our rooms.”_ She was calm, her voice muted but urgent. _“They’re talking with your lady friend.”_

 “Who?”

  _“Local security.”_ Ahsoka paused and then surprised him. _“Fekking hell. Get back to the ship_ now, _Fives. She’s identified you as a Clone!”_

 “Get out of there.”

  _“They’ve seen me.”_ His blood ran cold despite the fact she seemed very calm about it. _“I’ll meet you back at the ship. Don’t let them catch you. I don’t have my lightsabers on me to bust you out.”_

 The comm. shut off and Fives seriously considered going after her for a split second before he kicked himself. _Ahsoka knows what she’s doing._ He’d trusted her during the war to make decisions like this, he wasn’t about to _stop_ trusting her now just because they were civilians and fugitives. Taking an emergency exit he’d scouted when they’d chosen the establishment, Fives hit the streets. 

 Walking away and leaving Ahsoka behind had never been a prospect he’d enjoyed as a member of the GAR and right now he was finding he enjoyed it even less. At least on the battlefield she’d had the Force and her skill with her lightsabers... not to mention Rex and the whole of Torrent Company at her back.

 Here, she was wearing a single blaster on her hip, couldn’t use the Force lest she confirm anyone’s suspicion she was a Jedi and her only back up was him.

  _Ahsoka can handle herself,_ he reminded himself, scanning for surveillance and deftly slipping into a side street as security forces began to convene on the building. _She’s not just a Jedi, she’s a smart, canny individual who has more than just the Force to call on._ No. When it came right down to it, she was as well trained - better even - than most Troopers. Mindful of her instruction and the urgency that had been in her voice at the time, Fives did as she asked.

 He left her behind.

 

* * *

  

Ahsoka kept her comlink in hand after she flicked the switch to kill the connection to Fives, her mind already planning her next move. If she ran now, she’d have to redo her disguise and her cover identity, neither things she wished to do, but more importantly, she’d never know if either were genuine enough to allow her a little more freedom on the worlds they visited.

 Being associated with a Clone Trooper would be bad, but there was no guarantee that they would assume she was a Jedi for that alone. She couldn’t make that assumption, no matter how often she chose to err on that side of caution.

 Having been seen, there was no help for it if she wasn’t going to fight or flee; she was going to have to brazen her way out of this.

 Instead of stepping out of the situation as every instinct was screaming at her to do, Ahsoka continued to speak into the comlink as she walked into the hallway. “I’m telling you,” she tried to mimic the enthusiasm of the girls she’d often heard over the course of the last months from females she’d overheard ogling Fives, “he’s not just all looks, those muscles really do feel as good as they look!” She paused as if listening and continued on down the hall before letting out a high pitched giggle - one that made her cringe inside. “I’ve gotta run, I think the local law’s outside his room.” Another paused and then, “How would I know, maybe they’re the hotness police and want to arrest him for disturbing the peace!”

 Walking towards the security force, Ahsoka did her best to look nonchalant with just a touch of apprehensive curiosity - that _was_ what normal citizens felt when dealing with local law, right? - as she tucked the comlink away.

 Praying that Fives wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what she was about to do, probably the riskiest thing since stopping to try and rescue Rex while trying to escape the _Resolute_ , Ahsoka put on her best smile as she walked straight towards her room and, consequently, the guards. Silently rationalizing to herself that guilty people ran and, as far as these individuals knew, she had nothing to hide, Ahsoka did her best to show she had nothing to hide.

  _Says the girl_ , she thought ironically, _who’s an ex-Jedi with a Clone deserter for a companion._

 “Excuse me,” as she drew near, she tugged the key card for her room from her pocket and pitched her voice a little normal than lower, “you’re standing in front of my room.”

 The dancer’s voice jumped on the end of her question. “This is her. The girl I was telling you about.”

 “I’m sorry?”

 “May we have a minute of your time, miss?” the Security Force guard was polite, but his voice was hard, insinuating that she’d best _not_ have a problem with it.

 Still playing the clueless bystander, Ahsoka furrowed her brow in confusion. “Is there a problem, officer?”

 “We’re told you know the man staying in this room?”

 The door they indicated was right next to hers, the one Fives had been given, when he’d rented it. Suddenly, she was very thankful that she and Fives always rented their own rooms and that they were separate. It would be easier to play this off.

 Cocking her head, Ahsoka glanced at the dancer and, even passively, was able to read the smug jealously the other woman was feeling. Apparently one night in Fives’ company hadn’t been enough for her and Ahsoka’s presence with him otherwise had been noted. Still, she could pass it off. Fives was a notorious flirt no matter where they went. “Not really,” she finally offered with a faint smile, “no.”

 “Liar!” the dancer practically spat the accusation. “I saw when you two signed in together!”

 “Together?”

 “He was right behind you and you two were talking!”

 Which was true; Fives had made a comment that had made her laugh. “The man’s a flirt and very handsome, why wouldn’t I talk with him?” The jealous dancer apparently had no come back and Ahsoka paused, letting that sink in before continuing amicably. “He did sign in right after me, though. A shame too; I’d have loved to watch that backside at the counter for a minute or two.”

“When why’d you eat with him?” Once again on the attack, the dancer’s jealousy was demanding and, seen in the wrong light, damning. “You two seemed awfully friendly.”

 “That man takes friendly to a new extreme.” Ahsoka sighed inwardly, feeling the dancer’s hostility increasing at her words. It was going to cause problems if allowed to go unchecked and, reluctantly, Ahsoka put the weight of the Force into her words, her tone turning peevish. “Of course, you know that better than I do, don’t you, dancer girl.”

 “Don’t change the subject, you were with him at every meal!”

 “Are you telling me _you_ would have turned down that good looking man’s invitation?”

 There was silence for a couple of moments before the guards spoke, seeming to buy Ahsoka’s ruse. “Then you don’t know him?”

 “No more than any of the other girls know him, I don’t think,” Ahsoka shrugged and turned back towards her door, inwardly ruing what she was about to say but knowing she had to deflect their interest from her - and the dancer kind of deserved it. “A shame too. I’d have like to get to know him as well as you.”

 “Me?” the dancer squeaked. “I don’t know that man at all!”

 “Didn’t I see you sneak out of his room and kiss him goodbye this morning?”

 “What?! Your door was closed, how did you-”

 “Miss, we’ll have to ask you to come with us,” the security officer pounced on her comment, turning to the dancer with barely a nod of apology to Ahsoka, “consorting with deserters is a very serious offense.”

 Exhaling a silent breath, Ahsoka didn’t let her guard down as the security took the other woman away and entered her room with a swipe of her card. The dancer’s screams of protest were muffled as the door closed behind her and Ahsoka quickly gathered her things.

 She didn’t have much, it all fit in a small bag, and Ahsoka tossed it on the bunk before finding a piece of flimsy and writing a quick thank you to the housekeeping staff as she dropped a few extra credits for their trouble with it on the nightstand. Taking a listen, she couldn’t hear the din of the protesting woman anymore, and slung her bag over her shoulder before leaving her room.

 “Going somewhere?”

 It took every nerve she had not to jump as she turned to close the door behind her. A tilt of her head and Ahsoka caught sight of one of the security force standing next to the wall of the room Fives had been in, apparently waiting for her. She locked the door, bending to slip the card underneath it for retrieval by the housekeeping staff, directing her words at the guard. “Pardon?”

 “Are you going somewhere, sweetheart?”

 “You caught me on the way back to collect my things for check out,” she offered with a small smile as she straightened, “you can check with the desk if you like.”

 “You’re not running off to that Clone lover of yours, are you?”

 Strictly speaking, he wasn’t wrong, but Ahsoka wasn’t about to tell _him_ that. “Unlike the dancer, he might have looked my way and enjoyed flirting with me, but he never touched me.” Ahsoka made a face, “even if I wasn’t scheduled to check out today, I’d have asked for another room. The man has no sense of respect for other people sleeping in a public establishment.”

 “Had.”

 “Pardon?”

 “I’m told he was seen leaving the building.”

 Which means someone might have seen them together if she’d gone back to look for him. Another lucky break if ever there was one. Ahsoka cast a look at the chrono on the wall mid-way down the hall. “I’m sorry, my transport’s scheduled to leave later this morning, if there’s nothing else…?”

 “You really should stick around in case we have more questions for you.”

 “I don’t know what else I could possibly tell you about him.” She interjected a note of dreamy fascination into her voice. “Except he’s got a wicked sense of humor and his amber eyes are quite mesmerizing.”

 “Just stay clear if you see him again,” the guard finally offered, waving her away with a look of disgust, “he’s a Close which makes him a deserter of the Imperial Army and nothing but trouble.”

 “Thank you, officer,” Ahsoka offered solemnly and then winked at him, “I’ll keep that in mind the next time some gorgeous brown haired devil decides to flirt with me.”

 The guard made a snort of disgust and turned away, visibly waiting for someone to come and open the door to the room Fives had been using. Walking away, she kept her senses turned to the area, just in case it was some kind of trap.

 It wasn’t until she was out of the building and three blocks away that Ahsoka finally breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t dare contact Fives just yet, or head straight for their transport, so instead she headed in the direction of the spaceport, as she’d told the guard. If nothing else, it would lend credibility to her story and give her a chance to change into something out of the view of others. Once that was accomplished, she’d wait for a few hours and then head back to Fives.

 She only hoped that Fives had the patience to wait that long.

 


	11. Chapter 11

_Several hours later_

Stepping through the ship’s hatch, Ahsoka disabled the security alarm before closing the door and resetting it, looking around with a frown when it closed with barely a hiss and the expected outburst from her companion never came.

 A quick look around showed that she was alone and the running lights seemed to be the only thing on. There was no one she could see and Ahsoka raised her voice hesitantly - he _had_ gotten back to the ship, right? “Fives?”

 There was no answer to the call and she moved further in, beyond the seating area and towards his cabin. A glance into the cockpit showed he wasn’t there, nor was he in any of the rooms she passed. The door to the cargo hold was open, but dark. “Fives?”

 Continued silence brought her to his quarters and she palmed it open without knocking. “Fives are you-”

 She almost swallowed her tongue with the scene that greeted her. Fives was asleep, a thin blanket draped so casually and partially over his body that she could see the complete expanse of his muscular chest down to his naval, broken only by a small triangle of fabric before one naked, lifted leg drew her gaze downwards. Her jaw worked and Ahsoka averted her gaze before she was inclined to linger, knowing just how swiftly Clones woke and unwilling to invite the teasing she was likely to endure if he caught her ogling him.

 Not that his naked image wasn’t imprinted in her mind’s eye, not to mention everything she was feeling but hadn’t sorted through yet, she simply wasn’t ready to face the reality at the moment.

 Reluctantly, Ahsoka raised her voice again, focusing on his face and doing her best to ignore the optical feast spread out below it. “Fives.”

 His facial muscles tightened for a fraction of a second, something she’d have missed if she hadn’t been paying attention and known to look for it, before he continued to appear to sleep. It was a trick she’d seen used by many a clone when they wanted to _appear_ asleep while assessing the dangers of their surroundings.

 Ahsoka knew better than to fall for it. “I’m home safe.” He didn’t open his eyes and she exhaled with a shake of her head before turning to go. “I just thought you’d want to know.”

 “You’re late.”

 She stopped in the doorway, turning back at his soft comment. Fives had opened his eyes but hadn’t otherwise moved or made any effort to cover himself. She swallowed hard and kept her gaze on his. “I got delayed waiting for a transport.”

 “Transport?”

 “A ruse to throw off the security forces.” Turning away, Ahsoka averted her gaze. “I’m bagged, Fives; I’ll tell you about it in the morning.” Her hands didn’t move from the door jamb despite her words and she could feel his eyes on her when actions didn’t follow her statement.

 “Are you alright, Ahsoka?”

 “Fine,” except for the fact her feet wouldn’t move. Seeing him had gone a long way to alleviating the worry that had dogged her steps all the way back to the shuttle. However, there was something she found she _needed_ to know before she could leave and her head turned back his way, her words suddenly hesitant. “Are you?”

 Fives had pushed himself up on one elbow, the blanket at his waist having been pulled back up and now shielded him completely from waist to toes. A nod to modesty that she appreciated, but one she chose not to dwell on the _why_ of when he was usually such a shameless flirt.

 “Yeah, I’m alright.” He seemed confused by her question and cocked his head. “There something on your mind?”

 “I was just… worried,” her admission was accompanied with a self-depreciating smile. “I know you can take care of yourself - hell, I wouldn’t have made it this far without you taking care of me - but…”

 “But today spooked you.”

 Put that way wasn’t exactly flattering but it was accurate. “Yeah. I guess it did. It’s the first time anyone’s really been that close since we left the _Resolute_.” She hesitated for a moment and then turned fully back around to look at him. “I could have lost you today, Fives.”

 “I’m still alive and breathing.”

 “True. But if they’d caught you…”

 There was a silence that stretched between them for seconds and then minutes as Ahsoka struggled to put into words just why that bothered her so much, Fives watching her with an eerily silently and serious expression. It made her nervous and, after several minutes of just looking at him, Ahsoka found she couldn’t voice what she didn’t fully understand herself.

 “Yet, they didn’t catch me.” Fives seemed to sag a fraction before he flashed her a faint smile and dropped back to bed, throwing his arm over his eyes. “I’m _fine_ , Ahsoka. Go to bed.”

 “Fives-”

 “We can talk in the morning; it’s been a busy day.”

 She was about to protest further when Fives rolled, presenting her with his back, and effectively ending their conversation. Giving in reluctantly - fewer people were more stubborn than Fives when he was determined - Ahsoka stepped out of the room. “Goodnight, Fives.”

 Waiting for an answer, she gave herself a count of ten before reaching over and pressed the controls to close the door. Her shoulder sagging, she turned and entered her own room as the stress of the day began to catch up with her. Her eyes began to get heavy as the reality of the _now_ sunk in and Ahsoka realized that she and Fives were both in the clear.

 Her cover identity would probably be flagged locally as a person of interest, but she doubted they’d pass this way again anytime soon.

 The thoughts passed through her mind one after another, but her concentration waned as the _safety_ of her situation overtook the previous sense of unease. A sudden lethargy accompanied it as she unconsciously gave up the stress of having been on planet. Here, and only here on the little transport she shared with Fives, could she truly let her guard down.

 Barely able to keep her eyes open, Ahsoka let out a groan, rubbed her hand across her face and then promptly crawled into bed without bothering to strip first. The hell with it; she’d deal with it come morning. For now, all she wanted to do was sleep.

 She was out before her head hit the pillow.

 

* * *

 

Fives heard his door close and waited. He could barely detect Ahsoka’s soft footfalls, heard the door to her quarters open and then, through the vents, could hear as she paused in her room. He could picture her in his mind’s eye, looking at her room, undoing the fasteners on her –

 The sound of her body impacting the bunk broke his fantasy before his overactive imagination could torture him and Fives rolled onto his back once more, seriously questioning his faculties.

 She was probably exhausted. But, exhausted or not, Ahsoka had seemed on the brink of some grand revelation – only, having said nothing, she retrospectively hadn’t been. If she had, she’d have said something - anything! Instead she’d just stood there staring at him, as if she wasn’t certain what he was exactly; as if she’d never seen him before.

 It wasn’t that stare which bothered him so much, it was the surge of hope it had sent rushing through his veins. What had he expected her to say? That their little brush with the law had revealed a deep and abiding love for him that went beyond what she’d ever felt for Rex?

 Yeah right.

  _Di’kut_ , he snarled at himself mentally, staring at the dark ceiling for a moment before throwing his arm over his eyes. Ahsoka had loved Rex. If he knew anything about her at all, she’d _always_ love Rex. That he was in love with her was irrelevant; Ahsoka was his friend and _only_ his friend. It was all she’d ever been; all she ever could be with the specter of Rex hanging between them in the form of the face both men had shared.

 Despite the fact he’d shared her bed under false pretenses - at her request - Fives found himself wishing to do so again. He’d have given much to hear his name on her lips and not his _vod’s_.

 It was a moot point anyway and a fantasy that would likely keep him for long hours and many years until their paths eventually separated… and possibly beyond. He _knew_ Ahsoka was beyond his reach; unattainable.

 Now he just had to convince himself to accept it.

 

* * *

 

Lying low the following day, Ahsoka and Fives took the opportunity to do some much needed, and long neglected, maintenance on their ship. The decision was mutual and no mention was made of her intrusion to his personal space the previous evening or the lateness of her return. For all Fives believed her as to why she'd been later than he'd expected, the reasons weren't as important as the fact that she was safe. Having her close and working with him to do repairs went a long way towards reassuring him that she really was fine.  

The fact she was currently half into an access hatch with her bottom half his to ogle to his heart's content didn't hurt either. Focused on the repairs, she, thankfully, didn't notice his distraction as she was concentrating on what needed to be done.

 “Hand me that hydrospanner, would you?” Ahsoka extended her hand out of the service shaft she was half in, fingers spread wide. “The wide one.”

 “This one?”

 It slapped into her hand and she flipped it expertly, testing the size of the head as she kept her eyes on the sparking connection she was trying to fix. It didn’t feel quite right and she held it back out to him. “Next size down.”

 “You’re quite the mechanic.”

 “I didn’t have much choice but to learn,” she felt Fives take the hydrospanner and it was quickly replaced. Confirming by feel, she drew it into the hatchway with her. “I know you and your brothers are all a little technically inclined, but if I hadn’t picked up at least some skill with machines, I probably would have been stranded on some planet or another a long time ago.”

 “Not to mention your Master’s penchant for all things mechanical?”

 Ahsoka felt the familiar squeeze around her heart and lungs that always accompanied thoughts of Anakin. She still didn’t know what had become of him and feared the worst. “That too. I don’t think any apprentice of his would have lasted long if they didn’t have some kind of mechanical aptitude.”

 “Any particular reason?”

 “Aside from the fact that he’d rather go wandering off to explore first and fix the ship later?” Ahsoka couldn’t keep the derision from her voice. “Anakin had a lot of strengths when it came to warfare but sometimes I don’t think he knew how to think before he acted.”

 “Like Master like Padawan.”

 With a chuckle, she finished tightening the bolt she was working on. “True enough. Rex taught us both me the value of planning in all things, not just battle… but I think I was the better student in that case.”

 "Beyond the battlefield, granted."

 Amusement filled her and she couldn't resist teasing him, trying to keep things light. "Are you telling me you _liked_  Anakin's crazy ideas, Fives?"

 "What's not to like?" His counter was almost as lighthearted but heartfelt. "His plans might have been crazy, but they _worked_."

 "I'll give you that," she agreed, checking on the next series of fasteners and tightening another loose bolt as she spoke, "but at what cost, Fives? We still don't know what happened to him. We don't know if he escaped or if he..."

 A derisive snort from Fives cut her off. "It would take more than clones to kill the General. He's alive, Ahsoka." 

 "How can you be so sure?" Silence greeted her and she stopped what she was doing to look back over her shoulder, even though she couldn't see him. "Fives?"

 "I'm trying to figure out if you're serious or not."

 "Then think of it as a hypothetical. Anakin was on Coruscant when the order came through, right? What are the chances that a Jedi of his reputation would be able to escape unscathed and hide anywhere in the Galaxy? That is even if he was inclined to do so; I just can't see Anakin and 'lying low' being acquainted."

 "Both Rex and I resisted the order; there are bound to be other brothers out there who did too. Plus, he had the Nabooian Senator on Coruscant too, who's to say she didn't hide him when the order was called?"

 "I think that would have made the holonet," Ahsoka told him dryly, stretching her tools out behind her. She appreciated when he took them without hesitation. Finished the repair, she squeezed out of the hatchway to find him holding a cloth to wipe her hands on. "Thanks." 

 Fives nodded, but continued to the conversation. "With the allies and contacts the General had, I just have this feeling he's somewhere out there."

 "That's my line." They shared a smile as she cleaned off her hands. "It's comforting to think he is, though, especially with the disturbing rumors we've been hearing about a masked Sith."

"If anyone can take down that black suited Sith, it's the General."

 Being on the run, Ahsoka and Fives had only just begun to hear of Darth Vader and his swath of destruction and murder and the more snippets they caught, the more horrified they'd become. The Clones were now being used as Death Squads, tracking down and executing the remaining Jedi at the whim of the Dark Lord. Fives had insisted they remain on in hyperspace and in transit as much as possible to avoid entanglements like the one that had caught them the day before; she wasn't about to object as she had no interest in facing the black monster.

 That in mind, Ahsoka turned their discussion back to the ship. "Well, the hyperdrive could use a tune up, but we'll need to stop at one of the ports to get it done properly."

 "I thought you were technically capable."

 "For field repairs, yeah, but we've been pushing this thing beyond its specs for months. It could use a good overhaul of the engines for one."

 Fives' was immediately shaking his head. "We can't risk staying in one place that long."

 "I know, I know - someone will either recognize you or me." With a shake of her head, shifted, pushing to her feet to lean against the console. "I hate this."

 "Being here with me?"

 "You're the only thing that makes this bearable," she countered and then continued. "No, _this_. The running and hiding. The need to play games and be people we're not." Fives was silent but Ahsoka could feel that he had something he wanted to say. "What?"

 "Is it pretending to be something you're not when you're evolving to adapt to the situation?" He shifted away from her, pacing to the far side of the corridor beyond the access port before turning to lean against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, his expression unnaturally serious. "We can't be who we used to."

 "Well, we  _could_ ," she corrected, her tone dry, "we'd just end up dead really quick."

 "Precisely. I promised Rex I'd take care of you. I'm not about to let you die if I can help it."

 Ahsoka exhaled a long sigh, rolling her eyes. "Are you still hung up on that promise? You've saved my skin more than once, Fives; you know I wouldn't be alive right now if you hadn't taken care of me initially," his gaze slid from hers and she swore she saw a touch a pink on his cheekbones. Faltering, she forced herself to continue. "You're more than kept your promise. If you want to leave, I won't stop you."

 He considered the offer, breathing in a fashion Ahsoka could only see as deliberate as he thought about it. When his gaze met hers again, there was a determined clarity that had become more and more prevalent in their discussions of late. "I like it where I am. That doesn't mean _you_ can't walk away."

 "Not a chance," she tossed at him with a smirk, turning to secure the access port, "you're stuck with me until you get sick of me."

 There were several loaded moments of silence before Fives cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So what's next on the tune up list?"

 "I was thinking I'd run a full diagnostic of the ship's computers." She pushed back to her feet and turned his way, needing to move through the hatchway he was standing against to get to the main computer core. "Once we confirm no major issues, I can tune up the blaster manifolds and shield generators."

 "And while the diagnostic is running?"

 She considered him for a moment, coming to stand directly in front of him. "Up for a sparring match?"

 He blinked and then cocked his head. "Sure you want to do that? Last time you wiped the floor with me while Rex watched and laughed."

 "And then joined in to give me a challenge," she smiled fondly at the memory. "I think you were going easy on me, though. Rumor has it you don't play fair and yet, you didn't try a  _single_ dirty trick."

 "Rex would've had my-" 

 "I'll take that as an admission of guilt," she teased him, cutting him off. "And Rex wasn't the one sparring with you. I think you owe me rematch."

 "Sure you can handle the ARC sparring style?"

 "How about you just use Fives' sparring style and I'll use my own?"

 "Sounds fair." His eyes flashed with the challenge. "What're the terms?"  

 "It's _sparring_ , Fives, not hand to hand championships."

 "There is has to be some kind of incentive."

 "And the opportunity to throw me around the room isn't incentive enough?"

 With a chuckle, he cocked his head at her. "How about a forfeit, then?"

 "What do you mean?"

 "If I win, for example, you have to cook dinner for a week."

 Ahsoka burst out laughing. "Only if we both want to die, but okay. And if I win?"

 "I have to be your pleasure slave for a week?"

 "Somehow, I think you'd let me win in both cases."

 "They were just examples. How about it, 'Soka? A friendly sparring match with friendly forfeits?"

 Considering him for a moment, she finally nodded. "You set up the mats and I'll get this diagnostic started. See you in about ten."

 "Think about your forfeit," he tossed over his shoulder as he headed for the exit. "And Ahsoka?"

 "What?"

 "Make it creative; I know I will." The hydrospanner went flying across the room at his cheeky statement and he ducked away before it could hit him, his laughter carrying back to her. "I'll be in the cargo bay. Don't keep me waiting!"

 "Cheeky bugger," she grumbled, unable to keep the smile from her lips and she turned back to the main computer core, stretching her hand out for the hydrospanner she'd tossed his way. For all she grumbled, Ahsoka was able to acknowledge that Fives' presence made each day an adventure. And while she might be miffed and irritated he spent so much of his time with other women, especially when a part of her wanted him to spend time with  _her_ , she wouldn't have traded it for anything.

 Well... 

 The thought made her pause.  __ _Would_ she have traded this time with Fives for the opportunity to have Rex back?

 Rex's memory was still with her on a day to day basis, but the echo of his smile on Fives' face had faded to be non-existent. For all the Clones were identical in features, Fives' and Rex's smiles were totally different. And it had been those differences that, after a year, had forced her to accept that Rex was really, really gone. A part of him might live on through Fives, but it wasn't enough to  _be_ him. And she didn't, she realized,  _want_ Fives to be Rex. She wanted  _Fives_ to be _Fives_ , the friend who'd always stood with her and Rex as a pillar of support.

 Support she'd have long since collapsed without. Only Fives had been able to see her through the pain of losing Rex and the fact that he stayed, even after everything, was mind boggling. Fives had never stayed long while an ARC but part of that was due to his assignments, the other, she suspected, had always been to give her and Rex an opportunity for more time together.

 Ah Rex. She shook her head, closing her eyes against the ache that concentrated thoughts of him inevitably brought. _I still miss you and your counsel, Rexster. What would you think of this whole crazy situation we're in?_   

 Part of her knew. He'd have been disappointed with his brothers and torn between his previous loyalties and his loyalty to her. Part of her wished he'd lived to explore their relationship in the new order, where rules and regulations couldn't be fallen on as barriers between them. Even as she wished it, she knew she didn't wish it at Fives' expense. Rex would have had trouble adapting to a life on the run, without rules or regulations; they had been a part of him even as he'd learned to think beyond them... or twist and use them for his own purpose. 

 Fives on the other hand, had always been a rebel and, as a rebel, had adapted to their life almost without hiccup. 

 Could Rex have kept her safe the way Fives had in their initial months together? Granted, she would have mourned Fives if he'd died for her, but it wouldn't have been the crippling abandonment she'd felt with Rex's death; how could it have been when Fives had ever been on the fringes of her world? Still, working together, she believed she and Rex would have made it work. 

 If he'd survived.

 But he hadn't and here she was with Fives, over a year to the day the Empire had risen from the ashes of the Republic. Thanks to Fives she was safe. Healthy. Happy. For all she missed Rex and Anakin and all of her friends, being here with Fives  _did_ make her happy. 

 "Ahsoka?"

 Her eyes opened and she turned to find Fives looking at her from the other end of the port. "What?"

 "Are you almost done? I'm ready when you are."

 "Sorry; I spaced. I'll be there in a few."

 "You'd better be or my forfeit will be you walking around in nothing but your lightsaber belt for a week."

 Fives was gone before she could answer and Ahsoka swiftly turned to her task, her hands moving with the sureness of focus determination brought. Despite the light, teasing tone in his voice, she wouldn't put it past him to actually  _do it_ if given the opportunity. And Ahsoka wasn't about to give him that opportunity. 

 

* * *

 

Fives hit the deck with a thud and lay there for a half second before rolling backwards and to his feet, taking up the sparring stance once again with a grin. So far they'd only used very basics moves but Ahsoka's form and concentration were impeccable. Still, she'd learned to spar with regular troopers, Rex and Anakin. And Fives had learned a thing or two in his time as an ARC.

 "You're still holding back."

 "Most ARC techniques are designed to incapacitate and break." He shrugged, batting away a punch like swat as she tested his defenses again. "This is supposed to be a friendly match, remember?"

 "It's hardly friendly if you're not going to give me a challenge," she coaxed. "Try me."

 Fives practically bit his tongue to hold back the retort that immediately sprang to it. Something about already having had the pleasure - a comment she wouldn't have appreciated and one he couldn't have handled her reply to. Instead he hid the momentary hesitation with a roguish grin and launched himself at her, diving low at her knees and rolling to come up with a sweeping kick. She reacted as he anticipated, hopping gracefully to avoid the maneuver and, instantly, grabbed her legs and swung, dragging her down to the mat and rolling atop her to place one forearm across her throat.

 Ahsoka stared at him wide-eyed, visibly surprised and not having expected the fullness of the attack.

 He cocked his head, his roguish grin still in place, feeling cocky for having taken her down so quickly. "Still want me to spar with no holds barred?"

 She swallowed hard and he could feel it against his forearm where it pressed lightly against her throat. " _What_  was that?"

 "A take down," he countered, his grin fading a little. Pressed so close to her, his chest against hers, his body was starting to think of other things they could do lying down and he fought it. With a stern reminder that she wasn't _his_ to toy with, he focused on what his response was supposed to be. "A little something ARC troopers perfect for close encounters."

 "It's not very effective if all you're doing is trying to smother a droid."

 "Hand to hand with a clanker is different," he eased his grip on her, letting her sit up and taking the opportunity to bring his close leg up as a barrier between them, resting his forearm on it. "This one's for dealing with flesh and blood beings. If I used that move on a clanker, I'd probably break my leg."

 "That was picture perfect. I doubt that."

 He flashed her a depreciating smile. "Clankers don't hop."

 Ahsoka blinked and then smiled sheepishly. "Good point." Cocking her head to the side, she considered him for a moment. "Seeing as how we're dealing mostly with troopers chasing us, think you could teach me that one?"

 It wasn't the response he'd been expected, but he should have. Ahsoka had always been one to take being taken down as a challenge - and she had a point. Ordinary troopers didn't tend to learn that move in basic so they wouldn't be expecting it. In fact, with her disguise, they wouldn't be expecting much from her, most likely. For all Troopers had fought with female Jedi during the war, ordinary civilians weren't something they had much experience with and most didn't know how to defend themselves. Why else would the Republic need an Army?

 Shaking off his bitter thoughts, Fives turned his attention back to the eager Togruta before him. "You're quick enough," he agreed. "Work as hard as you usually do and you should have it down by end of day." 

"Just the basics," Ahsoka gave him a pointed look. "I well remember your teaching method. I'll be lucky if I have it down by end of week."

 "Ha ha," he resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her. It was a childish urge and one that wouldn't have helped her image of him. But then, he doubted she viewed him as more than a clown anyway, so what would it have hurt? The moment had passed though and he instead rolled to his feet and offered her his hand, glad their momentary conversation had given him a chance to settle down. "Come on."

 Ahsoka took his hand and hauled herself to her feet. Was it imagination or did the touch linger? _You're dreaming, Fives_ , he scolded himself. Ahsoka had belonged to Rex and always would.

 Taking a deep breath, he centered himself and took up an initial stance. It was a common enough beginning and Ahsoka mirrored him easily. Using a slow motion of movements, Fives began to take her through the move. Ahsoka, ever the contentious student - something that he'd always admired but never more so than now - followed his movements perfectly.

 Step by step, he took her through the roll, correction her position as he went. "Tuck your legs closer in."

 "Like this?"

 "Like this." Reaching down, he grasped her legs, fist at one knee and then the other, and drew them into the correct positions. "With your montrals, you'll need to tuck your head a little more, but I've seen you roll."

 "Are you implying something, Fives?"

 He chuckled at her cheeky inquiry. "Just saying you're flexible enough, Ahsoka. Now roll."

 She did as instructed. As she came out of it, Fives adjusted her hands on the mat and the way her leg swept out. It wasn't much of an adjustment and it was, he admitted to himself, more of an excuse to touch her than anything. "Your right hand here.... and lift your left leg, like this."

 Ahsoka adjusted herself as instructed.

 "Now sweep."

 She practically spun on the spot, ending, not surprisingly, almost completely turned around. Fives made to correct her, but Ahsoka was already taking up her original pose, a look of intense concentration on her face. So he let her, standing back to watch as she retried the maneuver, ending up with almost the same result.

 Watching her twirl herself around was amusing enough to watch and Fives could almost _see_ as she calculated the force necessary to achieve what he'd done to take her down. He gave her time when she didn't ask for his continued instruction, instead letting his gaze wander to the curve of her hip and the elegant length of her leg as she repeated the move again and again with similar and frustrating results.

 "Ok; what's the trick?"

 His gaze shot back to hers as she finally stopped and stared at him, retaking her ready position. He caught the glimmer of knowledge in her gaze and realized he'd been busted; caught - watching her.

 Fives cleared his throat. "Trick?"

 "Unless the trick is to put me in this ridiculous position so you can ogle me," she cocked her head to the side, her tone teasing but her expression deadly serious, "I suggest you show me how you did it."

 Snapping himself out of the fantasy that had just begun to form - who could blame him with those strong, supple legs before him? - he crouched next to her and adjusted her spin form. "When you turn, you need to compensate for your momentum. Swing your leg from here," he placed one hand on her hip, "not from the power of the spin. Control it, just be careful you don't break your wrist doing it."

 "A common injury, I take it?"

 "So common, ninety eight percent of recruits being taught this stunt do it."

 "But not you."

 "Naturally."

 "Naturally." Ahsoka echoed, her tone dry as she rolled her eyes. "Your ego could fill a star system."

 "Confidence is half the battle. If you think you're going to get hurt, you probably will."

 "Yes sir, Rex, sir."

 Fives paused, feeling a stab of what he identified as jealousy and regret coupled with an intense _hurt_ that shouldn't have been. Silence stretched between them for half a minute and his hands clenched into involuntary fists. He swallowed hard, looking away, and abruptly got to his feet, turning away. "We're done for the day."

 "Fives-"

 "I win," he tossed back over his shoulder, his voice soft and far more serious than he intended it. He didn't have to think of the forfeit, knowing exactly what he wanted more than anything. " _Never_ call me Rex _again,_ Ahsoka."

 

* * *

 

Ahsoka watched him leave, feeling the _pain_ sloughing off him in waves, his serious tone having cut her to the quick. She'd said it as a joke and he'd taken it entirely the wrong way; she felt awful for hurting him.

 Scrambling to her feet, she went after him. "Fives!"

 "Not now." He didn't so much as glance back at her as he keyed in the code to his room, his fingers missing the buttons on the first try and it was her first clue she'd wounded him far, far worse that she'd thought with her jibe. "Leave me alone."

 Her throat closed up at the husky tightness in his voice. "Fives - I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

 The door to his room slid open and he paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath, before stepping into it, his words sharp behind him.

 "Too late."

 "Fives, please!" Ahsoka stepped to his door and placed her hand upon it, closing her eyes as she could _feel_ the tearing of his hurt behind the door. She didn't step away. Couldn't. She'd caused this; it was only right she feel it. "I know you're not Rex! _I know it_!"

 There was no answer from behind the door.

 "Fives, please; let me explain."

 Another long silence and Ahsoka pressed her forehead next to her hand, her voice dropping as she realized he was too caught up from her carelessly inflicted wound to talk to her just yet. "I didn't mean it." Tears burned behind her eyes but she didn't let them fall, _willing_ him to hear her even as she knew he couldn't. "I didn't. I _know_ you're not Rex. I know you're a different person; I didn't mean to hurt you, Fives. I'm sorry; so sorry."

 The door remained shut, as she knew it would, but Ahsoka stood as a silent sentry beside it, her forehead pressed to the cool metal, as she absorbed and shared in Fives pain, wishing he'd let her comfort him and knowing he wouldn't. She stayed there, silently kicking herself for every wave of agony she could feel from him, disproportionate from her comment, but not in the context she was starting to believe.

 Fives cared for her. A lot. He'd been watching her - not that she'd minded - with heat in his eyes. The kind of heat he seemed to reserve for his one night stand dancers. A heat she'd not seen since the night he'd honored her request and played the part of Rex in her bed.

 That night, she'd called him Rex.

 If he cared for her as much as she suspected, and was now almost certain of, calling him Rex in jest had been a gross error on her part. A stupid mistake she would have to make up for somehow.

 Until he came out of his room, however, she was at a loss. Fives would have to tell her how to make it up to him, and not just by never calling him Rex again - which she swore she wouldn't. It was the last time she'd even joke about it, silently cursing her phrasing. Now, all she could do was wait and _feel_ and vehemently swear it would be the last time she hurt him like this. It had to be. He'd done too much for her, _meant_ too much to her, for her to continue doing so.

 He'd said she could leave. Did that mean he wanted her to go?

 Considering his actions and his usually flirtatious mannerisms, she didn't think so. He might be a flirt and a reckless vagabond when it came to his liaisons, but he'd been her best friend and protector when she'd been unable to take care of herself. He'd been both teacher and student, learning right along side her about being on the run and what it was to be hunted and hunter in tandem. Fives had been her anchor and she wasn't ready to cut him loose - if she ever would be. Unless she'd pushed him into it by her last insensitive comment.

 Turning, she placed her back to the door and slid down it, closing her eyes against the turmoil she could easily sense from the normally restrained former ARC, all the while kicking herself.

  _Never_ _again,_ she swore silently. _Never again, Fives. Not even as a joke; you deserve better and I'm going to make sure you get it._  


End file.
